Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid
by Louisa Storey
Summary: Bella goes to Forks after losing her mother, meeting Edward, the "freak" of Forks High and she learns everything is not as it seems. His distrust in Jacob Black sets everything in motion, and life as Bella knows it changes forever... ExB/AU/Canon pairings
1. Chapter 1

_If tears could build a stairway,  
And memories a lane,  
I'd walk right up to Heaven  
And bring you home again._  
~Anon

**BPOV**

Life works in mysterious ways. When everything seems to be going your way, something happens, shakes up your whole world and life as you know it changes forever.

The rain poured down, smashing violently against the window. The water fell against the ground like huge teardrops falling from heaven. Staring out of Charlie's old cruiser I desperately tried to distract myself by watching my surroundings blur past me. Trees upon tree's gathered in large clumps, flying past the car window with small houses following.

Death makes us all children again, my father 20 years my senior is every bit as vulnerable, maybe more so than myself. During the funeral I saw his heart breaking right in front of me, it was the first time I'd seen him so defenceless. His love for my mother was every bit as strong as when they were teenagers. I just stood by watching helplessly, barely acknowledging the constant stream of sorrys and sympathies.

No one was sorry, not really anyway. No one was going to miss her like I will. Soon she'd be forgotten, just another name on a gravestone. Maybe that was the stem of my fear? My spirited, remarkable and eccentric mother will just be another statistic, a faint memory of what once was. However the guilt is more intense than the grief, it is a thick layer of mud crushing me until I choose to fight back, but right now I don't have the strength for a defense.

I glanced back out at Forks, my new home. It was all so foreign, from the dark looming grey sky above, aged wooden cabins and the green shrubbery alien to Phoenix. It made the past 17 years of my life seem like a dream.

Reaching our destination Charlie sighed in relief, at least he could feel some comfort from getting home. I stared up at the small two story house with its white washed paint, casting a shadow over me.

Many summers I came here, but at least then I had the comfort of knowing that I could return to my loving mother in a matter of weeks. But now glaring up at the plain white house I knew that option ripped away from me and I was stuck here until college.

Charlie grabbed my battered suitcase from the trunk and silently walked into the house, avoiding all eye contact. He hadn't looked me in the eye since he'd picked me up at the airport, and I couldn't help but feel dejected.

I felt for my locket through my tee-shirt again and clasped onto it, feeling some solace from it.

I walked through the small front door and my brown, battered suitcase was lying at the bottom of the stairs. Passing on through I saw the small yellow kitchen, it was clean but untouched. Along the mantel piece in the living room were two photographs, one of Charlie and mom and one of me at 5 years old.

The house seemed to be so lonely and it tore me up to think Charlie lived in this state of isolation for so many years.

Pacing through the house I reached the dining room, Charlie was crouched over the tabled his head buried in his hands. I could almost feel the grief wave off him through the air. I stood there watching him, listening to my breathing, the only thing keeping me from breaking down.

_In, out, in, out, in..._

"I think I'll go to bed now." I finally stuttered out, for once I felt a need to break the tense silence that had settled between us. Charlie looked up at me and in that one second of eye contact I could see that he was suffering nearly as much agony as I was. He cleared his throat nervously and glanced away.

"Okay Bells, night." He said softly before I stumbled up the stairs.

I pushed my bedroom door open and saw nothing had changed from last July. If someone had told me back then that in a year I wouldn't have a mother, I would have never believed them. Renee was a scatterbrain, ditsy sometimes and childlike but she always seemed so _invincible._ She was a force of nature that could never be removed. If I learned one thing from this whole tragedy it was that life was precious, not something that should be taken for granted.

It's so peculiar; you can resist tears and 'behave' very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then you find yourself back in the real world, somewhere normal... and everything collapses

I fell back onto my bed and surrounded myself in my purple cotton sheets trying to escape just for a moment from this past week's event. Though the longer I lay there the more reality hit me like a ton of bricks, weighing me deeper into depression.

_My mother is dead, she's never coming back._

At this thought I gasped for air and the tears welled back into my eyes and slid down my cheek while I sobbed quietly. I could feel the cold metal of the locket pressing against my chest, the only physical item I had left connecting me to my mother.  
Slowly the exhaustion of everything started to pull me deeper and deeper into unconsciousness, I was unwilling but I did not fight it this time, I needed to escape the grief, even for a couple of hours. Because I knew it was all I had to look forward to this summer.


	2. Chapter 2

_September_  
**EPOV**

A crowd filtered through the huge oak doors, people pushed and shoved their way through like a herd of animals. Laughter rang through the air and a hundred conversations mixed together to form a loud murmuring sound though I could only tune into one conversation at a time.

"_Dude are you going to Becca's party tomorrow?"_

"_Like I'd miss that! I've been waiting to tap that for ages!"_

"_I love what you've done to your hair, did you get it coloured as well?"_

"_Yeah I'm glad you noticed, mom was angry but..."_

I tuned out again, the monotonous drone of their conversations were starting to hurt my head. Instead I watched the scene silently from the outside while leaning against my silver Volvo. Sighing, I ran a hand through my messy bronze hair as the bell rang loudly, taunting me that my freedom was up. It was all a gruesome reminder that the day I'd dreaded all summer was finally here. The first day of school.

I dissolved into crowd, attempting to get in the doors but I just went with the flow instead of forcing my way through. The last thing I needed to do was draw attention to myself.

The stares started as I walked towards my locker. Last year I would have kept my head down but I was so fed up with it all I glared straight back at anyone's eye who were unlucky enough for me to catch. This seemed to surprise some them as they fearfully looked in the other direction.

A smug smile lit my features; I liked having some sort of control over my peers for a moment. That was until I was slammed roughly into one of the nearby lockers by a passerby. My body crushed into the hard metal door and I slid ungracefully to the floor. There were a couple of giggles as I straightened myself up and scowled. A small ache burned my right shoulder but I ignored it, pushing myself on.

As I reached my beaten up locker I noticed that the janitor had shabbily tired to paint over the existing graffiti scrawled on it, and with little success. It only seemed to make the door more vibrant orange and the coarse language covering it was only partially fainter. The word _freak _was still scratched on; something I knew would never rub off.

I threw it open aggressively and gathered up some of my old books, particles of dust danced in the air which had gathered from two months. A whoosh of air someone passing made caused an old photo to fallout from the back and fall to my sight line. It was of me, Mike, Jessica, Angela and Ben at the La Push two years ago. We were all grinning idiotically, except Jessica who was pouting because her hair was messed up by the wind. I stared at my past self for a moment, his bright eyes were gleaming and he looked so young and innocent, unaffected by any of life's troubles. God knows I would do anything to get that back. I smiled sadly and pushed it back in.

"Edward." I heard someone stage whisper from behind me and I couldn't stop the eye roll I tried to suppress, I didn't need to guess who it was.

"What do you want Mike?" I said dryly, he was cowering pathetically in a class doorway beside the lockers, not even looking at me, trying to be inconspicuous.

"I was wondering how you were man. I didn't hear from you all summer." He whispered again. He stared up at the ceiling like a moron; he was trying so hard to be subtle he was starting to become obvious. Anger surged in my veins at his comment, as if it was my fault we hadn't talked!

"I wonder why Mike? Maybe it's something to do with the fact you ignored me the whole semester before. Things like that do tend to affect friendships." I spat loudly at him and he winced slightly at my accusation.

"Look Ed, I'm sorry but you know what Jessica is like and I think it was for the best." He spoke slightly louder and I felt my blood begin to boil, he was glancing over his shoulder to check no one had seen him talking to the _Edward Masen_.

"Don't call me that." I seethed at him; he shrunk further into the doorway.

I was contemplating whether or not to act on my anger but since I'd opted for not drawing attention to myself this year I thought it would be better for Mike's health and my report card's sake that I didn't lash out of him in public, even though I knew he thoroughly deserved it.

"Ever heard of bros over hoes?" I said coldly, his eyes flashed with anger and I could sense that really struck a chord with him but before he had the chance to retaliate I strode off, getting as far away from the traitor as possible.

The bell rang loudly overhead again as a final warning, causing some of the younger freshman jump in surprise and scurried to their first class. I smirked slightly and thanked the heavens that I was a junior and only had to put up with another two years of this hellhole. After that I can leave my past behind and start afresh.

And with that I pushed my confrontation with Mike to the back of my mind I made my way to first class, endeavouring to be invisible.

**BPOV**

Everything was just so overwhelming, two months had flown by, and I wished I'd had more time. But time waits for no one and I'd learned that the hard way. If anything it had sped up just to fling me here.

I had to act normal for Charlie, I knew he was having a hard time and I didn't want to make it worse. I didn't tell him that I still cried at night over my lost mother, that I wasn't ready to go back to school, that I wasn't ready to let go of her yet. Don't ask, don't tell, it had become a new motto of mine. The less Charlie asked and the less I told him, the better. I could even apply it to school, if no one knew anything about me, there would be no awkward questions which would only lead me back to the suppressing guilt.

That way I could get on with my life and forget about everything, even if it was just for a moment. But I knew I had to at least look like I was getting better, give a fake smile every once in a while and keep up appearances. Even if it's just for Charlie.

Although Forks High was half the size of my school in Phoenix, it still seemed incredibly daunting. The cliques had already been formed; I was an outsider to their perfectly arranged system, an unwanted stranger.

I felt my palms start to sweat slightly as I entered the old building; eyes were glued on me as I walked timidly down the corridor, clinging desperately to my books.

"_Locker 419, 419, 419…"_ I chanted in my head but I'd got so caught up in remembering my locker number that I lost my footing and tripped, causing me to spill all my books on the ground.

_Well done, Bella, just what you needed on your first day. _I grimaced as I heard some snickers around me. A red hot blush stained my cheeks as I attempted to pick up some of my books, then out of the blue two other hands were pulling the remainder of my spillage off the ground.

Glancing up I was first met with earthy brown eyes followed by a huge boy towering over me, his arms bulging with muscles, dark russet coloured skin, cropped black hair and a grin that reminded me of the sun.

"Thank you." I smiled as he handed me my books. His grin just widened,

"Well I couldn't let a girl as pretty as you pick them all up on your own." At his comment I felt nerves course through by body, he seemed too forward. However I could be just overreacting, I wasn't used to people being so friendly.

"I'm Jacob" He said smiling and held out his oversized, brown hand out that engulfed my small pale one. However as he gripped my hand I felt a burning sensation spread from my hand and up my arm, I snatched it away quickly in surprise.

"I'm Bella." I smiled and tried to muster up one of my friendliest tones which were difficult at the present time.

"Hey Jacob are you coming?" Someone called from the distance and distracted his attention.

"Well I'll see you around." He said grinning, looking down at me and winked as he walked off. I smiled cautiously back and darted off in the opposite direction.

The corridors were starting to empty and I was able to see more clearly the layout of the school, I pulled the crumpled map out of my pocket quickly while no one was watching and saw where my classroom.

After a few unsuccessful attempts I found classroom 309, biology. The class was already seated and I felt my stomach fill with dread, this was exactly what I didn't want, to make a big entrance. All eyes in the class were on me as I walked timidly to the teacher who also held a curious gaze on me; I kept my gaze fixated on my shoes.

"Hello, you must Isabella Swan." He said smiling.

"Bella." I said quietly and he nodded.

"Well Bella there's only one seat and it's at the back there with Mr Masen, so why don't you have a seat." He said, glimpsing down apprehensively at the boy as I walked down to my impending seat, people turning their heads to watch me.

_Don't trip, don't trip, don't trip._

I took a seat quickly and felt instantly relieved; at least I hadn't made a fool out of myself. Curiosity then forced me to look at the infamous Mr Masen who was sitting quite rigidly beside me, avoiding any eye contact. His messy bronze hair seemed to be uncontrollable pointing out in different directions, chiselled cheekbones, a strong jaw line and pale skin like my own except his seems to shine in the glow in the light of the flickering fluorescent light.

Unlike Jacob he wasn't bulging with muscles but his were more subtle, only making a small appearance at the sleeve of his shirt.

_Ugh, what is wrong with me? I've been here for ten minutes and I've already checked out two boys! _I shook my head slightly, disgusted with myself. This seemed to draw his attention. As he turned to observe me the first thing that struck me were his astonishing emerald eyes, although it was apparent they were the window to a troubled soul. I brought myself back to reality and then it became obvious that the rest of the class were staring at us indiscreetly.

He sat in a low stance, as if he was trying to blend in as well, which left me confused. Why would anyone like him want to hide himself from the world? However he was the recipient from the cold glares shooting our way and I turned to see his reaction, but he just kept his eyes diligently on the board.

Again his head jerked round to face me and I felt a blush rise on my cheeks as I knew he'd caught me staring. Quickly I turned my head to the board, allowing a curtain of my hair to fall between us, though still glanced at him through the corner of my eyes. He cleared his throat and turned round to face me properly.

"Hello, I'm Edward Cullen. You're Bella." He whispered in a soft silky voice that left me quite dazed. I blinked rapidly with no idea of what to reply, what was wrong with me?

"Yes." I replied utterly tongue tied. I couldn't even string a sentence together so I sunk slowly into my seat feeling like an idiot.

For some reason his green eyes filled with fury and I noticed his upper lip form a scowl. His whole attitude changed dramatically, as if he were deeply offended. His eyes narrowed into slits and his back straightened into a defensive stance. I slid farther away in my seat, feeling anxious under his stare. What had I done? I'd literally only said one word.

"I guess someone had filled you all in then?" he hissed quietly and pointedly glanced at the rest of the class members, which to be honest just left me entirely confused.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about." I said honestly and watched him, bewildered at his defensive nature, but his facial expression remained unchanged.

"It's okay," he said sarcastically, "I'm sure Mr. Banner can find you somewhere else to sit next class."

I stared at him in disbelief, why was this stranger so angry with me? I just about knew his name yet he had judged me so quickly. Once this thought struck, I felt a surge of anger pulse through me.

"You know you shouldn't judge someone so quickly, especially if you only met them." I fumed barely constraining my voice to a whisper.

Then his face went blank, like my words had smacked him across the face. He remained silent for an agonisingly long ten minutes, as if he was baffled. Then shocking me and others around us he began to laugh, and not just a quiet chuckle, but a full laugh. People whispered and nudged each other but his face remained the picture of amusement. It was enough to draw Mr. Banner's attention and give him a stern look.

"Are you laughing at me?" I asked bitterly but his laugh didn't sound mocking, it was genuine.

He grinned crookedly at me and his eyes seemed so much brighter, triggering my heart to beat like a humming bird's wings inside my chest.

"No, Bella, no. I'm sorry I've given you a very bad first impression. It's just that I'm used to people judging me, I guess I've been a bit of a hypocrite." He apologized but a small smile remained on his face.

"Why would you be judged?" I asked, then bit down firmly on my lip, _Don't Ask Bella._

"It's complicated." He sighed and his eyes darkened again, but a glimmer of amusement remained. After that he remained silent, but every once in a while I could see a small smile playing on his lips. I glanced round at him a couple more times still stunned, I had never came across a more unpredictable person and I'd only known him for 40 minutes.

The bell rang loudly and before I had stepped off my seat he had dissipated into the crowd outside the room, surreptitiously.

Walking to nest class I remained in a daze, confused and captivated, I could fully admit I was intrigued by Edward.

_**AN: Hey just started this story off, lots of drama and suspense still to come. Please let me know what you think and I'd appreciate any advice.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**BPOV**

Who would have thought that one room would cause so much fear, I stood frozen in the middle of the bustling cafeteria like a deer caught in headlights. People pushed past me impatiently, eager to get their food.

_Okay it's just a lunchroom, Bella, there is no need to panic_.

Apparently my body thought differently, my palms were sweaty and my stomach was about to lurch at any moment.  
I knew I could buy lunch and eat it in a toilet cubicle, hiding cowardly from the student population. Unfortunately that would deem me as the biggest loser in this place, which is really saying something. The last thing I needed now was to be bullied.

However now that I was standing on my own while teenagers pushed past me, it seemed like the better option. After deciding against it I walked to the line to queue for food I was never going to eat, I was just stalling.

I watched as some mush was slopped onto a plate and slipped gruesomely off the edge, the boy on the receiving end of the dinner looked just as disgusted as I did. I shuddered to myself and opted for an apple instead, at least it was edible. The lunch lady eyed me up almost aggressivly, her hair was scraped carelessly back into a bun which was covered by black netting, a blue striped apron covered a mundane grey shirt and she wore a scowl on her mouth. I could almost hear her thoughts, _anorexic. _I threw the change into her hand and carried my pathetic looking tray away.

The room was buzzing from chatter and everyone was sitting in perfectly arranged groups. I walked slowly past the first tables, my feet dragging, my mind screaming run_, _but I forced myself on. If it came to the worst I could do a full circle and then run. Every single table was occupied and each one gave off an unfriendly vibe, I think that was mainly my insecruities though.

First table; Jocks throwing food at each other like a bunch of primates and a couple of cheerleaders hanging on their every word..._no_

Second table; Chess club, I can't even play chess...._no_

Third table; Girls who looked like they'd just walked out of a nightclub and were reverently applying makeup..._no_

This continued for each table in a similar fashion, I was quickly running out of ideas as I got to the last couple of tables. The next table four people were sitting at, not one had sent a glance in my direction and for this I was relieved. They were all inhumanly beautiful like they'd just walked off the pages of vogue, they weren't hostile, just intimidating.... _definitely not._

The next table was full of normal looking teenagers. Four boys, three girls. The two blonds were in what appeared full gossip mode, the brunette with the glasses was intently reading a book, with a boy reading it over her shoulder. The other three boys were playing a video game on a tiny console. This group looked safe, friendly and acceptable.

Then at the very back of the old cafeteria I saw one person at a table with his iPod secured in his ears, eyes closed and head leaning against the wall, blocking everything out from around him.  
My heart started to thump and I felt a glimmer of something flicker in me, _hope_. My brain was telling me to stay where I was but my legs had a mind of their own as I was suddenly heading in the wrong direction.

I picked up my pace and reached the lone table, I sat the tray down which seemed to catch his attention. He gazed up, his eyes blank.

"Hi Edward, would it be okay if-" but he interrupted me abruptly.

"Bella I don't think you want to sit here." He stated coolly, the disappointment was almost crushing. I felt my resolve weakening and my brain was saying _I told you so,_ but I stood my ground.

"Do you not want me to?" I asked, trying not to sound hurt but it cracked through.

This was going to be very awkward and embarrassing if I couldn't sit here. We were starting to draw attention to ourselves and I shuffled nervously on the spot, watching my feet for the second time today.

_Please Edward, please. _

He stared at me and I squirmed under his gaze, his eyes flickered towards other people and then back to me again.

"No Bella, it's just... when you sit down here your reputation will be out the window." He said sullenly and glanced quickly at the other students who were observing the whole scene unfolding. A strange giggle of relief bubbled from my lips and I deliberately pulled out a chair and sat down beside him.

"You shouldn't have done that." He positioned himself away from me, his chair scraped on the tile floor as he did and stared straight into my eyes, intimidation pouring off him. I chewed anxiously on my lip but made no effort to move.

"It's my reputation, I can do what I want." I muttered quietly but I felt a smile playing on my lips, threatening to give my whole charade away.

"You're so stubborn." He muttered and started to eat his pizza.

I smiled, chuffed that I'd been able to find someone. I couldn't call it friendship yet, more of an acquaintance. Still, it was something and by the looks of it, Edward was in need of a friend. My smile faltered and I lost my little buzz as I felt the icy stares being thrown at us and the noisy chatter had decreased to quiet mutterings. It was very unnerving.

Edward must have saw my uneasiness as he looked up and glared deliberately at them, daring them to look any longer and with that the eyes shifted away and the chattering increased again to a more comfortable noise, but nerves still trickled into my veins.

When his eyes focused back on his food I subconsciously fiddled with the silver locket hanging on my neck.

"You should have sat with Jessica or someone." He complained and still wouldn't meet my gaze.

"Who's Jessica?"

"My ex." He replied bitterly causing me to choke on a piece of my apple.

"Ex?" I spluttered out, trying hopelessly to keep my cool, but I had this inexplicable rage at this Jessica, I could feel it running cold in my blood.

"Then who would you sit with?" I asked as I watched him slump slightly in his chair. A lock of his bronze hair fell over his face that he brushed away, annoyance etched on his face.  
"Me." He replied curtly and took another bite into his pizza.

I turned to look at the table of strangers Edward had glanced at. It was the same table from earlier I'd decided at the last minute not to sit at. "I'd rather sit with you." I said quietly but that was enough for him to stare straight into my dull brown eyes, as if he was trying to read me.

"I can't figure you out Bella Swan." He muttered to himself pushing his tray aside for a moment to study me further. I found myself leaning toward him, his scent drawing me in.

"Why?" I said still waiting for him mood to unexpectedly change; he seemed to be prone to mood swings.

"I don't know. People are predictable; it's almost as if I can tell what they're thinking. With you there's nothing, I never know what to expect." He leaned closer to me and beginning to feel like a science experiment I sunk back into my chair. "Wait scratch that, I sound crazy." He added the last bit nervously and looked up to see my reaction.

"No it doesn't, it makes sense in a weird sort of a way. Maybe it's your special talent." I joked and smiled reassuringly, I was content to see he returned a weak smile.

For the next fifteen minutes we sat in silence, I tried to start some conversation with him, but after a few futile attempts I gave up. Eventually I started to enjoy the silence, it was peaceful and inviting. Unlike the awkward and suffocating silences I endured with Charlie. So I just crunched into my apple and he looked up with one eyebrow raised.

"Is that all you're going to eat?" he questioned.

"You have any better suggestions?" I retaliated quickly and glanced back down at his mouldy piece of pizza that he'd abandoned a good ten minutes ago.

At this comment he smirked slightly and glanced up at me, humour lighting his eyes. "I guess not."

Suddenly the humour vanished from his face to my disappointment, and his eyes clouded over again.

"Bella, why do you bother? I'm just some reject that should be avoided at all costs. I'm trouble." He said darkly and leaned closer to me, enough to make breathe hitch slightly.

"I guess," I replied, my voice slightly uneven, "I know that this is all a masquerade, I want to see the real Edward."

At this remark he shot back in his chair, putting a large amount of space between us and watched me uncertainly.

Finally he spoke, "I've got to go."

And with that he stood up and walked out rapidly, while the bell rang unexpectedly at the same time causing me to jump. He paced off quickly, disappearing out of sight, leaving me alone at the table, stunned.

********

That was the last I saw of Edward that day, he just disappeared into thin air leaving me behind to trace his invisible footprints. I felt so idiotic, I should have just left my big mouth shut and maybe I would have got a decent conversation.

I was just captivated; he wasn't like anyone else at Forks, from what I'd seen they all seemed pretty superficial. But Edward was different and this was obvious by how everyone else had treated him, he'd been misjudged but I still had no idea how.

The long day was finally over and I clambered into my warm, safe Chevy truck. At least there was something I could feel at home in. I was too distracted with getting the truck started to notice I was being watched. There standing beside a large jeep was a tiny girl, barely bordering five foot, with cropped black hair and snow white skin watching curiously as I drove off.

I drove back to the house, trying to forget everything that had happened today. There was a still silence about the house, all the lights were off, the driveway was empty and I knew instantly Charlie wasn't coming home again till late.

When I first arrived he came home at 3 o'clock each day, mostly to keep an eye on me. As time passed he came up with excuses to stay behind, bury himself in work and avoid reality.

It was hard at the start, but I soon realised that he needed this, a distraction. I couldn't blame him though; it was his way of escaping. If I had a way of escaping my nightmares I'd take it without another thought. As night began to fall I started to feel the need for sleep more and more urgent, no matter how much I'd tried to fight it. So reluctantly I pulled myself up the stairs and clambered into bed. I let my heavy eyelids droop over my eyes and started to drift off, waiting for morning to come.


	4. Chapter 4

"Mom, MOM!" the screams echoed through the room, shadows casted over my room trying to swallow the light. Charlie's snores unexpectedly halted and the bed shook underneath me as I shot up upright. The confusion came first, like a misty cloud of fog; it took me a moment to come back to reality and see clearly again. Then followed the pounding headache, I shivered frantically and buried my head back into the pillows.

After lying in that position for over half an hour I felt myself calm down, my breathing became steadier and the tears subsided. The red light on my alarm clock blinked 7 o'clock and reminded me that I had to drag myself back to school.

Glancing towards the window I noticed was peeping through my curtains, a long slit of light painted across my wall. A small smile played on my lips as I rolled over the bed to get up. It was one the very rare days that the sun actually shone and I'd be damned if I didn't enjoy it.

The thought of the sun had melted the memory of my nightmares from last night out of my head and I felt suddenly lighter. After a pop tart, I went out and I stared up to the sky. The sky was so lonely, not a cloud or a plane or even a bird fluttering across it. The blue was pure and clean, the sun crawling up it slowly, shooting out long rays of light through the trees.

I got in the truck and as usual it roared to life, throwing me back into the seat in its wake. As I drove down the road I actually had to squint because of the sunlight and at this I couldn't help but smile.

It was the one of the few times it hadn't rained since arriving in Forks, the sun was a little reminder of my happier times in Phoenix. It was like my mother was smiling down on me from heaven, making me feel warm and light.

As I pulled up to the school I noticed that the students had the same predicament as me and were enjoying the sun while it lasted. The crowds didn't seem so daunting today, and everybody wasn't staring as much. I raked a hand through my freshly washed hair and the strawberry scent became apparent. Just as I was about to escape into the classroom I heard a voice call me name.

I turned to see a small girl with sandy blonde hair scraped back into a high ponytail walking towards me. She was dressed in a small pink strappy top and denim skirt to match that showed a bit too much leg. She walked with a confident demeanour and an air of coldness.

"You're Isabella right?" she asked chirpily, her eyes looked me up and down judgingly.

"Bella." I replied slightly confused by the girl approaching.

"I'm Jessica Stanley," she said smiling. It clicked then suddenly, she was _Edward's_ Jessica

"So where are you from?" she asked and began to walk with making me feel uneasy, I was overpowered by a strange feeling in my stomach, causing me to feel queasy.

"Phoenix." I replied in a quiet voice. I was very unwilling to give her more information but this didn't seem to faze her.

"Oh cool! I've always wanted to go there, you know for the good weather and all. Hey aren't people from Arizona supposed to be really tan or something?" she asked but she didn't give me a chance to answer her question as she started to rattle on again.

"Well if you've got any questions about Forks high school just come to me." She said smiling brightly and I just nodded.

As she was about to leave she turned to ask me one more thing,

"So you got anyone to sit with at lunch?" she asked but by her facial expression I knew she had been one of the eyes watching Edward and me yesterday.

"Yeah I do." I answered curtly, feeling slightly protective of Edward and I noticed her nose wrinkled up slightly. There it was, her hidden motive, and all of a sudden I was angry at this snooping girl, prying her nose into my business.

"Well if you need some better company you can always sit at my table." She hinted but I sure as hell wasn't going to take the bait.

"No I'm sure-" I began but she cut into me,

"No really I insist." She said sweetly and paced off to her next class leaving me standing in the middle of the corridor.

_Damn._

**EPOV**

"_Damn!" _

I cursed loudly in my car as I tried and failed to pass yet another slow driver. It was like slow drivers' day today and they were all conspiring together to make me later for school.

I thought I'd be safe for another fifteen minutes in bed but with the traffic today, I doubted I could even make it by the skin of my teeth as I felt my eyes pull back to clock for the fifth time in the past two minutes.

Finally the road cleared and I sped up, watching the dial on the speedometer move more and more to the right. I quickly swerved into the school car park, barely missing a shiny red car. Their horn was now blaring and the blonde haired driver was shouting profanities at me out her window, causing me to smirk in spite of it all.

Parking haphazardly, I ran out as quickly as I could and sprinted up the corridors which were nearing to empty then I finally reached Mr. Banner's banged up classroom door with a faded gold sign reading 309 Biology. I took a second to catch my breath before knocking on the door and entering.

The whole class looked up as if a bright green alien had just walked in and Mr. Banner turned from the board and narrowed his eyes. He sighed slightly as I tried to give him my most apologetic look,

"Sit down Edward." He muttered and turned back to the board.

I passed by the intrusive students and took my seat beside Bella. She turned round and smiled at me, her big brown eyes lighting up slightly.

"Hi." She said quietly and turned back to board, her brown hair flowing round her face and I was hit by a strong scent of strawberries.

"Hello." I heard myself reply, the word tumbled out awkwardly of mouth and I saw her smile slightly as she scribbled down a couple more notes. I'd say that word again and again to see her alluring smile.

I couldn't understand this girl at all; she was extremely hard to read. Usually I could pick off a person's character at a first meeting, but Bella was different, she seemed more reserved, like she was hiding something. A couple of people had turned towards us, noticing the exchange between us and watched with judging eyes. They all thought they knew me so well, that I was some sort of villain, a monster.

I glanced round at Bella again. I didn't want to drag her into this mess, she seemed too fragile. But part of me was telling me I could protect her, protect her from the judgments and rumours. Protect her from my past.

What was I thinking? I barely knew her, she was just some girl.

_No she's not, _a small voice in my head said and I sighed frustrated because I knew it was right.

"We're going to do a project!" Mr. Banner announced loudly breaking me out of my thoughts. There were a few moans and the chatter in the class increased. "Everyone will pair up with his or her lab partner and I want at least two essays, minimum 2000 words on our last topic. Any questions?"

The bell rang loudly and I felt disappointment overwhelm me, I wanted to sit next to Bella for longer and now I had to sit beside the Cullen boy in history while he very obviously ignored me.

Just as I was about to get up I saw Mike Newton prancing over towards the table and my eyes narrowed on his idiotic face.

"Hey you're Bella aren't you?" he asked in a super friendly voice, his eyes tracing up and down her figure suggestively, I clenched my fists tightly, after everything he'd done, he wanted to take Bella as well. She just nodded, not bothering to answer him and continued to pack up her things.

"I'm Mike Newton," he said smiling but obviously his ego had been taken down a notch from her lack of interest and I smirked slightly. He noticed that and glared at me, which only made me smirk even wider.

"Anyway I'll see you around Bella." He said and winked at her but to be honest he just like he had a nasty twitch. At this I started chuckling loudly as he walked off.

"What?" hissed Bella, her cheeks flaming red at Mike's obvious and unsuccessful attempt to flirt.

I just grinned at her and jumped off my seat.

"I'll see you later." I said naturally, then realised I'd just given her an invitation to lunch.

"I'm nearly as bad as Newton." I muttered under my breath as I rushed off to next class.

**BPOV**

Embarrassed didn't even cover it. Stupid Mick or Mike or whatever his name was. Why did he have to flirt with me right in front of Edward? I knew by his laughing that he'd noticed it and it had made me feel even more awkward. The morning classes had dragged and I just wanted one moment of peace.

As I walked through into the lunchroom I headed straight to the table. I'd learned from my mistake yesterday and brought my own lunch. I looked down and saw Edward sitting in his normal spot, he saw me and smiled which encouraged me to continue towards him.

Out of the blue Jessica appeared at my side with her huge false smile plastered on her face, acting as a barrier between us.

"Bella!" she said happily, "our table is over here, aren't you coming?"

I looked at her and suddenly felt ill at ease because I knew my answer and she wouldn't appreciate it.

"I'm sorry Jessica, I've already got a place to sit." I answered quietly and she caught me looking towards Edward who in turn was watching us intently.

"Are you serious? Come on Bella, no one sits with Edward. He's no good. Did you not hear what he did last year –" she started jabbering on but I interrupted her, not wanting to hear anymore, my blood was boiling and her clear disdain for Edward and I felt an instinct to defend him.

"-Thanks for the offer but I'm sorry, as I said I've got someone to sit with." I said, my tone a colder.

"Fine," she said angrily, "Your loss. Just don't come crawling to me whenever Edward hurts you." And with that she stalked off to her table while throwing a dirty look towards Edward.

It took all my strength to not run after her and knock that pretty face into the ground, instead I paced towards the table feeling furious. I yanked the chair out violently and thrust myself onto the chair without looking near Edward.

"Bella?" I heard Edward's soft voice mutter and I looked up meeting his sparkling green eyes, my resentment melted partially.

"Why did you do that?" he demanded, his tone sharp.

"What do you mean? I don't want to sit with her and her clone friends." I glared at him, this was the last thing I'd expected from him.

"She'd be far better to sit with, more sociable. I don't know, just better for you." He muttered and dug a fork into his gloop but didn't lift it near his mouth.

I stared at him for a momentarily shocked,

"Edward do you honestly think I'd rather sit with her, judging me, always prying and questioning. I don't know how you stuck it! If you don't want me to sit here just tell me. I didn't know my company was such a burden." My sudden outburst caught some people's attention and I was steaming with rage. Embarrassment swept over me and the heat flooded to my cheeks as I pushed out of my chair and stood up to leave.

Then I felt a warm hand wrap itself around my wrist gently causing small tingles.

"Please don't go." He said quietly looking up into my eyes pleadingly. I felt my legs weaken and I sat back down again as my resolve faded.

He leaned closer to me, close enough that I could feel his breath fanning my face.

I could see his face very clearly now, strong eyebrows, a dark fringe of eyelashes, beautiful green eyes, perfectly chiselled nose and pinky red lips that I had a sudden desire to kiss.

I stopped myself there and I felt a blush rising again on my cheek as I became aware that I'd been staring too long, but he'd been staring too.

"You're not like anyone I've met before Bella Swan." He said in a low voice but watching my eyes. My breath caught in my throat and I said the only thing I could think of.

"I could say the same to you Edward Cullen."


	5. Chapter 5

_**Bella**_

It was strange to walk through the quiet empty corridors in school. My footsteps echoed off the walls and all I could hear in the distance was the quiet sweeping of the janitors brush. The school was starting to feel more like, I tried to spend as much time here as possible, just to avoid the emptiness at home. I walked in through the dark wooden doors of the library.

It was filled with only a few students, most of them were small freshman curled up into a good read or studying miraculously hard for some unimportant test. If only life were that easy, only having to worry about was the next pop quiz.

I started to search through the shelves, trying to find any book on genetics in biology. I sighed at the thought of writing a two thousand word essay but it's all for a good grade.

Well that was what I was telling myself. The truth was I couldn't bear going back to that empty house to be left alone with my thoughts.

I found a couple of old battered books, one had its spine completely torn off and made my way towards one of the vacant tables. I sat back in the seat for a moment, enjoying the silence and stillness. It was a complete turnaround from the usual chaos on a normal school day. There was dust scattered in the air from the old books, the shelves were stacked high with text books, classics, romance, action, horror, encyclopaedias'.

I relaxed and stretched my limbs out preparing myself for a long sitting, closing my tired eyes and promised myself that I'd only rest for a minute, in reality I was drifting off slowly to sleep.

"Funny finding you here." I heard a voice murmur in my ear and I jumped in shock and turned to see Edward grinning crookedly behind me, also holding a couple of battered books. He was dressed down in a pair of jeans and a clean fresh blue shirt, making the green jump out of his eyes.

"Was that really necessary?" I hissed, trying desperately to ignore the fluttering feeling filling up my stomach.

"No," he grinned wider, "but it was more fun." And he took a seat beside me and leaned casually back in his seat, letting his arms fall onto the armrest and it brought to my attention his toned muscles.

"So we should probably get a start on this essay." He said and dug out a huge file block and a couple of pens.

"How did you know I was in here?" I asked curiously, secretly thrilled he'd found me.

"I didn't." he answered and wrote the title on the page in a very eloquent script.

I looked at him quizzically for a moment but he ignored it; he never seemed to give enough information. I let him off the hook and started to flick through one of the books.

"Find anything?" he asked softly as he started scribbling down an introduction.

"Nothing worth 2000 words." I said disappointed.

At this he smirked,

"Bella Bella," he chided playfully taking a piece of my hair in between his fingers and twirling it playfully,

"When will you ever learn that you don't read in between the lines, you read the actual lines and just change the wording."

To my dismay a loud laugh escaped from my chest that caused the librarian to pull down her round, milk bottle spectacles and glare at me for a long minute. Once she looked away I began to giggle under my breath.

"I think, Mr Masen, you managed to ruin the meaning of a great saying for me forever." I tried to seriously but a smile cracked through my lips and he chuckled lowly.

"Oh Isabella how will you ever forgive me?" he said dramatically, grasping my hands in his and I glared at him for using my full name.

"I don't know _Eddie_, I think I'll have to devise something." I replied and he rolled his eyes and pulled away.

After a moment of silence he threw his pen down onto the table and scattered his pages into his page. I looked at him curiously.

"I honestly don't care this much about biology. Do you want to go grab an ice cream or something?" he blurted out then halted suddenly, looking slightly uneasy after his request.

"I thought you were never going to say anything." I grinned and jumped up with him, leaving the battered books scattered across the table.

********

"Okay pick any ice cream, it's on me." Edward said as I looked into the brightly lit ice-cream fridges.

"I'll just have a strawberry cone please." I said and he looked at me like I was crazy.

"What's wrong with strawberry?" I demanded.

"Bella what's right with strawberry? You have to get a variation at least! Strawberry is as bad as just having a plain yogurt." He stated.

"I don't mind plain yogurt." I muttered quietly, hoping he hadn't heard me but his booming laughter said otherwise.

"Fine then why don't you choose, oh great ice-cream man." I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm but he decided to ignore it.

"Don't mind if I do." He said and strode towards the counter and I realised that I hadn't really had a choice in the matter to begin with.

"One large chocolate special sundae please." He said grinning and handed over the money.

I raised on eyebrow at him and he laughed loudly.

"I guess you could say I'm a regular." He said and took a seat on one of the huge red sofas.

""Why'd you only order one?"

"Let's just say even I'd be ambitious to eat a whole one on my own. I always wanted to try one but they were too large for just me." He replied and as soon as the words were out of his mouth he looked embarrassed and his eyes dodged down to the ground. I just nodded to save him from any more embarrassment but it was kind of cute.

Ten minutes later a waitress carried out a huge ice-cream sundae and placed it in front of us. My mouth gaped open and my eyes widened, there were five layers of ice-cream, chocolate chip, chocolate, cookie, cherry and vanilla. At the top there was whipped cream with two fat cherries on the top, wafers and two long silver spoons.

"You have got to be kidding." I stated in complete disbelief, there was no way we could eat all this.

"Nope." He grinned and took one of the spoons out with a bit of whipped cream and popped it into his mouth.

I reluctantly took a spoon out and started to taste the cherry ice cream.

"Bella." He whined.  
"What?" I snapped playfully.

"You're not eating it right, here." He said taking the spoon from my hand and I rolled my eyes. He furrowed his eyebrows in deep concentration as he tried to get a bit of each flavour onto my spoon.

"There," he announced, "Now open wide."

"No way, I can eat it myself." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Come Bella that's no fun." He demanded and waved the spoon that had a mountain of ice cream on it in front of face.

"Somehow I don't…." but as I was talking he stuffed the spoon into my mouth, delight lighting up his face. His features lit in a way I'd never noticed before, his eyes sparkled and crinkled from laughter at the side, his smile was deliriously beautiful and the chuckles that escaped were infectious.

As much as I wanted to deny it, it did taste amazing.

"You see, that's how you eat ice cream." He said smugly and took another bit of his.

"Okay my turn, close your eyes." I said a plan forming in my head. Unlike me he played along and sat there looking like a big child, his tongue wiggling teasingly.

I took his spoon dipped it into the whipped cream.

"Okay open wide." I said smirking widely.

Then I got the spoon and slathered the whipped cream all over his face, it sat in little blobs all over his face and I began to laugh wildly.

He opened his eyes and licked his lips tasting the cream and I found myself staring at them as he did this. However it didn't halt my laughter.

"You've got a little something on your face." I laughed while wiping the tears on from my eyes.

"Oh you're going to get it now Swan, when you least suspect it." He said while wiping the cream off his face and chuckled slightly.

We only managed to finish half of it and that was mostly down to Edward. We walked out towards the large park and chatted about everything and anything. I was letting my guard down with him, I could feel all me defences slipping but I didn't care, I hadn't felt this happy in a long time.

We stopped at the huge pond that stretched across the park. It was clear blue and ducks floated on the surface fighting over small crumbs of bread. I sat on the cool grass, it tickled my legs and as Edward sat with he sighed contently.

"Edward can I ask you something?" I said warily.

"Sure, anything." And he turned to face me, his green eyes alight.

"Why doesn't anyone talk to you?" I said and once his face froze up I regretted asking it, ruining the light atmosphere. Do I never learn?

"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked." I muttered lowly.

"No Bella don't apologize, it's just... it's complicated." He sighed and ran his hand through his bronze hair making it stand up even more.

We sat in silence for a moment and I felt slightly awkward at how he'd dodged my question but I shouldn't have stuck my nose in.

I closed my eyes for a moment and soaked in the last bit of sun that I'd probably feel for weeks.

Out of nowhere I was hit by a sharp and cold sensation and I opened my eyes to see my whole shirt soaked through and Edward smiling innocently at me.

"You did not just do that." I growled and his smile just got wider.

"I told you I'd get you back." He whispered into my ear mischievously.

And with that I clambered over to the pond and flicked a wave of water at him.

"Oh it's on!" he said and he climbed over to me and the both of us started flicking the water wildly at each other.

The force of the water hitting me stung slightly but I couldn't help but laugh.

"Stop it Edward!" I spluttered while giggling and throwing more water at him. Suddenly while I had been flailing my arms about to splash up the water I lost my balance and fell head first into the pond.

"Bella!" I heard Edward shout frantically and as I resurfaced, dripping wet he started laughing manically. Once he'd caught his breath he climbed to the edge and took my hands to pull me out. While I had my chance I dug my heels into the ground and used all my strength to pull him in and he came toppling in on top of me, launching me back under the icy water.

Once our heads resurfaced he grimaced.

"That was unnecessary." He growled pulling me in tightly against him and my breathing was erratic at the sudden closeness. Even the water could stop the sparks shooting through me. He tucked a bit of my soaked hair behind my ear and smiled gently.

"If I go down then you come with me." I laughed and splashed him a bit and he began to laugh.

"Come on." He said climbing out of the pond, wrapped his arm around my waist and lifted me out with him.

We were both dripping wet and the water ran down his nose and dripped off. I shivered slightly, the chill of the wind beating against me.

"Bella," he groaned, "you're going to get sick now."

"No I'm not!" I said stubbornly.

"We need to get you home and get you dry."

"But my car's in school." I sighed dreading walking back soaking wet.

"We'll sort that out later, come on." He said smiling and suddenly pulled me up into his arms bridal style.

"I can walk!" I shouted wriggling in his arms, trying not to enjoy it as much as I was but I eventually gave in and relaxed in his arms, happy in his embrace.

"Yeah but this is more fun." He replied smirking.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey sorry about the long wait for the next chapter, school was hectic with exams so I didn't get to update.**

**If anyone's interesting in Beta-ing for this story please give me a shout!**

**Thanks for all the reviews I really appreciate them and please leave me a comment on this chapter **

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

_"Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before finding the right one, so that when we finally find the right one, we will know how to be grateful."_

_**Edward**_

I hadn't felt this light and happy in months. I could feel her energy radiating and I was soaking it all in. Bella had this affect on me which was indescribable. I glanced over at her sitting in the passenger seat, both of us were soaking my good seats but I couldn't complain, I was in too good a mood.

I'd never felt like this with Jessica or even Bree. There'd always been complaints with Jessica and complications with Bree. Bella was different, she made me feel more alive and I'd take every complaint and complication she threw at me as long as by the end of the day I still had her.

The sun was starting to set in the sky, leaving a dusty pink colour on the horizon. I didn't want today to end but it was inevitable. When I pulled up at her house we were met by an empty driveway and every light in the house was off, it looked abandoned. I had been dreading meeting Officer Swan, especially in the condition we were both in but the worry had been for nothing. However it was quickly replaced by another one.

I couldn't help but feel anxious that Bella would have been in the house on her own.

"Charlie's working late again." She muttered and sadness flashed in her brown eyes, which made me think there must be more to it, but I didn't ask.

"Do you want to come in?" she asked hopefully and her brown eyes lit up slightly at the prospect of it.

"I'm sorry I can't, I really need to get home." I said, the guilt felt like a cat scratching the inside of my chest. I reflexively pushed back a lock of her hair from her face, her cheeks went slightly pink and I inwardly smiled at her reaction.

"Thanks." She said as she opened the door.

"For what?" I asked wondering what the hidden meaning in her voice was.

"For showing me the real you." And with that, before I could protest, she hopped out of the car and ran towards the door. I stared into space, dazed for a moment before I roared the car to life.

_Bella, Bella, Bella. _

That's all that was running through my mind as I drove up towards my small white house, the sun glinting through the trees and reflecting off the glass windows.

I stepped out of the car, the fresh smell of the woods and pine hit me. Once upon a time that smell used to be comforting, reminded me completely of home. But now it was all just bad memories and a reminder of what I had to go home to.

As I opened the sandy wooden front door and threw my keys on the table I heard mom call out,

"Edward is that you?" there was an edge of worry to her voice but she was trying to cover, quite unsuccessfully I might add.

"Yeah." I said, trying to make a quick escape to my room before anyone noticed me, unfortunately mom had a sense for these things and as she walked out to meet me her mouth dropped open.

My mother, Elizabeth Masen was a beautiful woman. But now as time had moved on her looks had faded and life had taken that spark from her eye. She had wrinkled eyes, small bags surrounding them and her red brown hair had silvery grey strands emerging.

"Edward! What happened to you?" she demanded as she took in my very wet appearance.

"Fell in a pond." I answered calmly, trying to bite back my smile from the image of Bella flailing arms as she feel back into the water.

"What? Where?" she started, I knew this was the beginning of an interrogation, so I thought it we probably better to give her short and quick answers.

"Outside the ice cream shop."

"Why were you out so late?" she said with a smug smile, thinking she'd caught me out.

"I was in the library, doing a biology essay."

Her brow furrowed slightly, probably because she had run out of questions, and could think of no accusations.

I gave her a wide grin and started to walk into the kitchen leaving her started in the hallway at my cheerful attitude.

"Something's different." I heard her mumble and I had to choke back my laughter, if only she knew.

Then when I entered the kitchen I groaned slightly when I caught site of my father sitting at the counter reading the paper. My father and I may have looked similar but we were completely different people. I was certainly not a chip of the block, our ideas about life and principles were on opposite ends of the scale. He believed in work as a mean of providing for your family, I wanted to do something I loved, money was just a convenience. He didn't have a religion, his views are you're born and then you die, my mother was a devoted Catholic and me, well I'm not quite sure yet.

"What happened to you?!" Dad burst out as he noticed my appearance. I turned in disbelief to look at him; it was the first time he had spoken to me in months.

"So he speaks." I said sarcastically, avoiding his question, the last thing I needed was for my parents to go delving in for information about Bella.

He watched me for a moment, and then turned back to his paper, completely disregarding my presence once again.

"Edward," I heard mom call out as she was walking into the kitchen, "You really should be more careful. You'll ruin your clothes if you fall into anymore ponds." And just as the words had left her mouth, I froze up.

Slowly my father's gaze inched off his paper towards me, I was struck with anxiety when he just stared at me blankly. His hazel eyes were narrow and glazed over, I couldn't read a thing from them. He was trying to figure it out; the clogs in his head were turning, churning this new piece of information.

I just watched him, waiting for a reaction. He wasn't stupid; he knew I wasn't clumsy enough just to fall in. I just prayed that he wouldn't figure it out.

At this, I made a quick escape to my bedroom to get away from my mother's questions and my father's stares. He'd left me feeling shaken up, doubting myself and my decisions. He had the power to do that to me with one look and I hated it.

I took a quick shower and got out of the damp clothes, which made me feel slightly better. I turned on my music and lay down on my bed and relaxed, forgetting about homework, I could always talk my way out of it.

My thoughts strayed back to the day with Bella.

Her smile, her laughter, her wit, her eyes.

I don't understand why I was getting so attached to her. Maybe it was because she was the only person to give me a chance in a while, not to give me that judgemental stare and just make assumptions, it was refreshing. When I was with Bella I was free to be me.

No matter what my circumstances were, had it been back last year, at the start of junior year when I still had friends and girls actually paid attention to me. I still would have been drawn to Bella.

I knew there was more to her past that she wasn't telling me, like the small silver heart shaped locket that hung round her neck which she subconsciously touched when she was nervous. But I'd be a hypocrite to say that I didn't have a past.

I knew I should have let her go, avoided her. But I know it's impossible now, I'm in too deep.

A timid knock sounded on my door, and it jumped me quickly out of thoughts.

"What is it mum?" I called out waiting for her to enter. To my surprise she appeared through the doorway quietly and stepped cautiously into my room.

She glanced round first, not meeting my eye. Her eyes took in the mess of everything, the only thing that was actually tidy was my CD collection.

"You should clean your room a bit." She said noticing my things were thrown everywhere.

She was stalling.

"What do you want." I said coldly, waiting for her argument to begin but she just stood in silence. I knew her well enough to know she wasn't coming for chitchat, the reason being she hadn't done that with me for over a year.

"I'm worried." She stated, still not making eye contact with me, she was gazing out the window, over into the deep forest.

"Anything new?" I said sarcastically. I was only being so distant as I knew she wasn't here for my benefit.

"You weren't alone today, where you?" I froze slightly when she said this, I had no idea she would approach it so suddenly.

"What's it to you." I said coolly, trying to keep my temper under control.

"Edward." she said meeting my gaze finally, I could see for once there was no anger or hatred in her eyes, just sympathy and I think that was nearly worse.

"I know it's been a hard year for you-" she began but I cut her off,

"- yeah and you've really been there for me." I spat angrily; this was the last thing I wanted to hear. She flinched slightly at this and nibbled on her bottom lip, obviously not knowing what to say for a moment but she gathered her thoughts again.

"You know I do try to help you, but it's always thrown back in my face!" she shouted, her green eyes alight with anger again. I felt relieved; this was my aim, to get rid of the sympathy.

I sighed, "Mom just say what you came to say." I was fed up to be honest. I just wanted her to leave and forget about it for a while. No one would ever leave me be, always constantly reminding me what happened. No one understood that I was still haunted from that night, all I wanted was to leave the past behind but no one will let me forget. Except Bella.

She dipped her head slightly and then raised it again meeting my eyes once more, the anger had left her eyes, replaced by blankness.

"I think you should leave Bella alone." She said unemotionally. I stared at her, shock and anger seeping through my veins. It spread rapidly around my body like a raging fire, threatening to engulf me completely. How did she know? I expected this of dad but not her.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said struggling to keep my voice even.

"Mrs. Newton told me Mike said you were hanging about with Charlie's daughter." Her tone tinged with disapproval. _Always the Newtons, _I though bitterly.

"I think you should leave Bella alone." She repeated again, edging over toward my bed.

"No." I growled fiercely pulling myself up off my bed so I could stand opposite her and she took a step towards me.

"Please Edward just hear me out." She pleaded, putting the full force of her eyes on me but I just looked away, it may have worked when I was younger but not now.

"Why Mom? She's the only thing I've left." I said angrily. I could hear her breath catch and I glanced towards her face.

I saw her eyes well up with tears and her mouth was slipping into a frown. Finally something was sinking in.

"That's not true." She mumbled lowly. I turned sharply towards her, my temper rising again.

"Who else is there then? You never trust me, the constant questions prove it. Dad hasn't talked to me for months, ignoring my very existence. I lost all of my friends; even my sanity has been questioned! Do you want Bella as well? Is that it?!" I shouted at her and she was completely taken aback. I'd never said these things out loud but it was a like a small weight had been taken off my shoulders.

"She could be like Bree." She said and she'd finally done it, sending me over the edge.

"She's nothing like Bree." I hissed.

"What if the same thing happened again?" she replied ignoring my last statement but the fear was evident in her voice, and it made me feel guilty for a moment until I realised the implications of her words.

"It won't because it never did! You're my mother! You're the one person who's supposed to believe me. I never asked for anything but your trust." I shouted and the tears were flowing freely down her face now and she sniffed.

I didn't want to make her cry, but it needed to be said. But I'd had enough, she'd gone too far and the tension in the room could be cut like a knife. Neither of us was willing to see each other's point of view.

"Get out." I said coldly and her eyes narrowed slightly.

"What?" she shouted back, her voice gaining strength.

"You heard me." I said and turned away from her.

There was a loud slamming of the door and I could hear her thumping down the stairs. I turned my music up louder but it wasn't enough to drown out the distant sobs making me feel worse than before.

Then in the moment of my anger I punched my fist into the headboard. It barely moved and I didn't leave a mark, it just stood arrogantly still while I protested in pain. My hand throbbed and I clasped it tightly in my other hand, tears stinging my eyes. At least the pain had been a distraction though. I closed my eyes, my fist still hurting and let my thoughts drift off, blocking everything out and just concentrating on my music.

That's what my life had been filled with in the past year, distractions. I'd do anything not to be left alone with my thoughts.

Though in the back of my mind a thought wriggled, torturing me slowly as it crept further and further to the front so it was as clear as day.

_What if mom is right?_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Bella**_

_Charlie didn't come home last night._

The clock had ticked by painfully slow last night; my eyes were heavy with sleep, the last bit of my energy finally draining away. I'd no one to call. I'd tried the station and it'd always rung off and Charlie didn't have a cell. It was moments like this that I'd do anything to have my mother back.

I stared in the mirror for a moment, my hair was sitting like a haystack, I raked it painfully back into a loose ponytail. My brown eyes were bloodshot from the lack of sleep, surrounded by dark shadows that contrasted with my pale skin. My mouth was in a fixed frown and my lips were chapped. Brushing my teeth for the fifth time, my gums started to ache so I threw my toothbrush back in the holder but it bounced back out and fell into the sink.

I felt hideous but I didn't care, I just wanted to know if Charlie was safe. Running back to the phone that had become the centre of my universe since last night, I picked up and dialled the station number once again.

Waiting while the monotonous rings began, each one stabbed me like a knife in the chest, anxiety taking control of my mind. Then on the sixth ring to my utter relief I heard Charlie's voice,

"Fork's police department, how may I help you?" Strain and depression echoed in his voice and his facade was slipping.

"Dad where were you last night?" I said the hurt evident in my voice as it cracked, he'd had me worried all night, not even giving me one simple call.

"Bells. Sorry, I should have called you. It got really busy down at the station. They needed me."

At this point I felt myself swell with anger, so busy that no one could be bothered to pick up the phone? I knew Forks well enough to know nothing ever happened in this feeble, pathetic town.

"Fine." I said and hung the phone up with no goodbye.

His lies were worse than mine, they stung hard like a slap across my cheek. I couldn't listen to his pitiable excuses. My worst fears were confirmed, he was avoiding me.

Strangely though, mixed with the hurt I felt some relief. All sorts of scenarios had run through my head, he'd got shot, there was a massive robbery or his car had crashed.

At least I knew he was safe, even though it was at the expense of my feelings.

All I wanted was to escape to college. I couldn't move on in this house, not while Charlie was grieving constantly. I was being choked by it. I loved my mother, so much more than words can describe. It still aches everyday that I won't see her anymore.

But I can't live like Charlie is. I don't want to bury myself in work, avoid my own children. I need to move on and right now college was the only option of this.

_Only two years. _

The large dark clouds were back and it was drizzling down partially, throwing a haze of grey over the town. The drive to school went past in a bit of a blur, shapes morphed into each other, there was nothing defined. It was pulling me into a cloud of drowsiness, tempting me to shut my eyes for just a moment.

I drove into the parking lot and once I pulled into the space I just stared blankly out into the distance, trying to block any thoughts from my mind.

I don't know how long I'd been sitting there for, it could have been seconds, could have been hours. Students passed by laughing and chatting, a couple sparing a glance in my direction. Suddenly there was a soft rap at my window, I didn't turn to look who it was, I just continued to stare out my window.

My passenger door was opened and someone slid into the seat. I decided to glance round at them and saw Edward. I took in his slumped stance, tired eyes and creased clothes, he nearly looked as bad as me. His hair was messier than usual, standing on its ends and there was not an ounce of humour in his eyes.

"Hey." he said, examining me with a concerned expression.

"Hi." I said weakly and leaned back into the chair, closing my eyes.

"Did you sleep at all last night?" he asked as he ran his finger gently along the bottom of my eyes where I knew the large shadows covered them, the makeup clearly hadn't worked. To answer his question I just nodded my head and sighed at his touch, relaxing further.

His presence was peaceful and I could feel myself drifting off to his sweet scent.

"Bella." He said softly and tapped my arm.

"Mm hmm." I mumbled and pushed his hand away, trying to get back to sleep. He chuckled quietly and I heard his door open and close. I snuggled in deeper to my old musky smelling seat, hoping he'd left me to sleep.

To my surprise my door opened and I felt his arms wrap around me and lift gently me out of the truck. I was met by the sharp cold air and I could feel the droplets of rain pattering against my face.

"Edward put me down." I mumbled pathetically but I found myself burying my head deeper into his chest.

He laughed softly and I felt the gentle rumble in his chest.

Then I was set down on my feet, the ground felt unsteady and I began to sway slightly.

"Whoa." Edward said and caught me with his arm and wrapped it around my waist

"Why couldn't you sleep?" he asked, his tone laced with apprehension. I didn't want to tell him the real reason so I just shrugged my shoulders.

He knew there was more to it, I could sense it, but he didn't say anything. I was a pathetic liar anyway. He paused for a moment, thinking what to do; meanwhile I just closed my eyes and leaned into him.

"Come on Bella, I'm taking you home." He said and this definitely woke me up.

"No." I said adamantly and stronger, pushing myself upright so I could look him straight in the eyes. He had surprise written across his face.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and took in my stubborn expression. There was no way I was going back to that empty house, I hated the silence.

"Right come on." He said pulling me up slightly so I could stand straighter. He pulled me through the people in the parking lot and their eyes were glued to us. The corridors appeared to be busier, or maybe it was just me. But I could feel the stares and hear the harsh words, I decided it was best to not focus in on the actual words. On a normal day I would have felt paranoid but today I couldn't care less.

Edward seemed slightly edgy as we walked further down the corridor I could tell he was bothered by the attention but he just pulled me tighter to him protectively.

"What the hell are you playing at Masen?" I heard an annoying voice say in front of us.

I looked up to see Mike Newton standing defiantly in front of us, his eyes were narrowed and glaring at Edward, trying to be intimidating but he looked like a mouse about to fight a lion.

"Get out of the way Newton." Edward growled furiously, his fists balled and his grip arounf me tightened further but Mike stood his ground though I could see his motive faltering slightly at Edward's anger.

"Let go of Bella now, don't think you can-" he began but I interrupted him, feeling Edward's temper rising.

"Mike go away." I said and his blue eyes flashed towards me, mixed with hurt and jealousy. Edward smirked smugly and pushed past him, knocking him out of the way.

"Stupid Mike." I said quietly and Edward laughed loudly while Mike stood behind watching us walk off with a gobsmacked appearance. We paced on down the corridor and I started to forget about all the other students, I was wrapped up in my own bubble with Edward.

"This is where I leave you." Edward said lowly and leaned his face closer to me. I noticed I was standing outside my first class.

I sighed and gave him tight squeeze before I let go and his arm dropped away.

"I'll see you at lunch." He said and pressed his lips against my cheek softly. The blood rushed to my face and my eyes lit up with surprise. My heartbeat was stronger than ever.

"If I last that long." I said, trying to pass off my surprise and delight. He smiled crookedly at me before heading down the corridor and finally out of my site.

I took my seat, feeling more awake than before. A couple of people give me a sideway glance but then turned their attention back to the teacher.

As the teacher began to drone on, the tiredness hit me again and I drifted off slightly. Then a thought struck me fast and hard,

_I think I'm falling for Edward Masen._


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey all, sorry about late update but FF was just not working for me! I know it's a short one so i'll have another chapter up in the next couple of days. Thanks for all the reviews they've been really encouraging and also helpful when it comes to correcting a mistake or two. I know there are a lot of questions surrounding Edward's past but all will be answered soon. Thanks to all my dedicated readers, you mean a lot to me. So after that, here's the rest,**

**Disclaimer: Not Mine**

_**Bella**_

I hadn't managed to stay awake in one class and I felt truly pathetic. Now walking to lunch, the one time I wanted to stay awake, my eyes were drooping repeatedly. The caffeine from my coke had only worked for half an hour, the exhaustion seeping back into my body.

The voices of people around me morphed into one single tone and I was slightly grateful, not wanting to hear the petty gossip. _Our _table at the back was empty, filling me partially with disappointment.

A I stood there indecisively my eyes wandered to the table of the "vogue models". One girl was staring straight at me, the one with pointed black hair, petit. She had a blank look in her eyes as if she wasn't really here, in a world of her own. I felt unnerved as her blank stare held me, not blinking, not moving. Suddenly her eyes became focused and turned to the blonde boy beside her.

Slightly bewildered, I began to plod down cautiously towards our table when I felt an arm twist round my waist. It was very hot, the heat scorching me through my shirt causing me to twist in the iron grip. I turned to see Jacob smiling brightly at me.

"Hey Jacob." I said in a friendly manner but wriggled out of his arm, feeling slightly uncomfortable at his forwardness.

"Hey Bella! How are you?" he asked eagerly. I had a feeling this conversation was leading to something but I played along anyway, waiting impatiently for him to get the point.

"Tired." I replied, really not making much effort to converse.

"Well you don't look it. You always look beautiful." He said and winked, his flirting was too obvious and I bit back a giggle. I just shrugged hoping he'd leave soon.

"Anyway I was wondering if you would want to sit with me and a couple of friends at lunch. I haven't got football practice today and I thought we could just hang out."

He pointed towards a table of large boys like himself; it was a group of teens from the reservation. Charlie had told me the school had to close from lack of funding and they'd all made their own corner, I knew I wouldn't fit in over there. Suddenly feeling very awkward, I knew the answer but I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

However before the words could leave my lips a voice sounded behind us.

"She's already got somewhere to sit." Edward's voice was cold, hard and defensive, almost unrecognisable.

His arm linked through mine slowly and he gently eased me away from Jacob, as if he was pulling me away from a deadly snake ready to attack at any moment. I nearly tripped over my feet but the two boys eyes never moved from each other. Edward's face was frozen in a mask of fury while Jacob had an ugly sneer with narrowed eyes.

"I'll see you later Bella." Jacob said coolly, still staring straight at Edward. But just as he was walking away his hand traced down my arm slowly and seductively causing me to shudder in response and Edward to lurch me away.

Jacob never turned to look at us again but walked with slow deliberateness, as soon as he was out of ear shot Edward started to drag me out of the cafeteria.

Edward had me pressed tightly against him as he knocked past people through the corridors. His grip was too tight, my arm started to ache but from his facial expression I could tell nothing was going to stop him. Suddenly he threw the large exit doors open, let go of my arm and walked outside beyond the car park to the trees.

I had two choices, return to the cafeteria away from this crazed Edward, or blindly trust him and follow. Before I had even thought it through, I was running across the car park towards him.

He finally stopped at the trunk of a huge tree and leaned against it drawing in quick and sharp breaths without looking at me, his gaze focused on his now shaking hands.

"Edward." I began but he held a finger up to silence me so I just waited.

"I'm sorry," he said breathing rapidly, "I know I over reacted but I just..." but he stopped himself there and pointedly looked in a different direction.

"What's up with you and Jacob?" I asked, my hands gripped on his arm, his breathing was erratic, almost panicky and it scared the hell out of me..

"Please Bella, please, just stay away from him." he said pleadingly looking directly at me and I felt my resolve melt away.

"But why?" I replied at least wanting to know a reason why I should avoid him.

He took a moment and eventually said, "It's... complicated."

I felt my anger flare up slightly, annoyed that he kept dodging around all my questions.

"How can you expect me to stay away from someone without any explanation why?"

I snapped but regretted it once I saw his face, it was crumpled with grief.

He walked towards me, lacing his fingers through mine and I felt tingles running through my veins.

"Just trust me." he said in a final tone, I knew he wasn't going to give me any answers today and I didn't want to push him after his little episode.

At that moment we were secluded from the school, in our little world amongst the trees. He was calm now and his eyes met mine.

I don't know if it was the look in his eyes or just plain foolishness but I leaned closer to him, I was inches away from his mouth and I felt his breath fanning my face.

I glanced up towards his green eyes but I could see no repulsion, only the same warmth that I felt,

shone from him. Then he closed the gap and I closed my eyes as I felt his soft lips press against mine.

The warmth felt amazing, he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me tighter to his body and I curled my arms around his neck, curling my finger through his messy hair.

I felt his tongue lick my lip, asking for entrance and I fully obliged, letting our tongues entwine.

Everything from earlier was forgotten and I was lost in his embrace. It was sweet and gentle, a perfect first kiss. But there was an underlying need that was stirring within me.

Slowly he pulled away and I realised I was in dire need for oxygen.

I let my arms slip down from his neck but his arms tightened around my waist, pulling me closer. I open my eyes and was breathing very quickly, sucking the air in rapidly.

I noticed his eyes had the same glow in them and I smiled brightly, I felt completely uplifted, my exhaustion had left me, it was as if he filled me with new life.

It was the happiest I'd felt since before mom died.

"Bella..." he began and I knew that tone too well, the one after the amazing kiss where the boy tells the girl why this won't work or how it isn't right.

"No Edward, please don't say it. Don't ruin it for me." I said quietly and the air was filled with silence. He pressed his forehead against mine and we remained like that for a moment.

"I don't want to lose you," he said under his breath and then spoke slightly louder, "I can't lose you Bella."

"You won't, I promise." I said and gave him a light peck on the lips, checking the boundaries but the small smile on his lips reassured me.

"I've got to go." I said regretfully, watching the students starting to make their way to class in the distance.

He pressed his lips to my forehead and then let go of me.

"Emm, Bella, do you think maybe, eh, we could hang out after school or something?" he asked, stuttering a bit. I grinned up at him and I could see he physically relaxed.

"Yeah sure, I just need to leave the truck at home."

"Okay, I'll meet you at your house then."

As I walked away, I turned back to see him walking in the opposite direction towards the school and I smiled.

My heart was beating me senselessly, fluttering on every other heartbeat. Walking in a daze to next class, I ignoring the stares received by some the students. I honestly didn't care because I was in my own little world, enjoying every second of this feeling.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Bella**_

I hadn't been able to sit still in any of my afternoon classes; my concentration span was limited to one minute, then I would find my eyes wandering back to the clock hanging highly on the wall. My exhaustion from earlier was long forgotten, I knew it would hit me full force once I got home but the prospect of Edward had me sailing on a high.

I was sitting on the edge of my seat now, watching the last couple of the minutes pass on the clock, the second hand moved so slowly I wanted to jump up and turn it round myself.

_Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick , tock, BRRRRIIIIINNNNGGGG_

The noise of the bell prompted me to spring out of my seat. I threw my books into my bag quickly and bolted out the door, not giving the class a second thought.

People were pushing and pulling to get out of the door and for once I was one of them. Bodies were pressed tightly together, pushing and shoving for their burst of freedom, I suddenly felt suffocated but continued to push my way out. Finally when I escaped the crowd I felt the cold gush of wind swirl around me, playing with my hair gently. The crowd around me had dispersed in different directions and I was left alone for a moment.

Then in clear sight, Edward was casually leaning against his silver Volvo and smiling crookedly at me. I tried to keep some cool about me so walked slower towards him, even though I desperately wanted to sprint towards his and wrap my arms around his neck.

After what felt like an eternity I reached him and he wrapped his arm around my waist. His warmth enveloped me, a calm serene sensation which caused me to smile.

"You ready Miss Swan?" he said grinning and accompanied me to my truck, his arm secured around me.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I replied and we both got into our cars.

The truck roared to life, ready to kill any victim in its path, which at that minute happened to Edward's shiny silver Volvo. He referred to as his "baby" and for a moment I felt powerful over him, knowing my truck could turn his "baby" into scrap metal. My legs bounced up and down under the steering wheel and my concentration was waning.

When I finally got onto the road I started to feel nervous, my hands were slipping off the steering wheel repetitively and I found myself constantly glancing back at the silver Volvo trailing behind me, only catching a flash of bronze in the wing mirror.

The road began to clear a bit and I was getting closer to the house when suddenly a silver flash glided by me. I glanced to the side and saw Edward grinning cheekily and winked before flying off down the road at twice the speed limit.

"Jerk." I muttered to myself but a laugh bubbled up in my chest and I attempted to speed the truck up, with little succession but my truck was already eating his dust.

As I pulled around the generic neighbourhood to my white washed house I was met with an empty driveway apart from Edward's car pulled in at the side.

I got the same empty feeling in my stomach, wishing that Charlie could have been there to meet Edward. I suppose it was for the best. I could picture his face, the suspicious narrow eyes, twitching moustache that would make me giggle and a stern frown with a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, while Edward squirmed under his unceasing gaze. I just wished that something could be normal in my life.

"So where's the chief of police at? Should I be scared of his gun?" Edward joked, his eyes flashing with amusement and I felt my lips sink down, chewing on my lip cautiously, building a barrier in my mind to prevent the onslaught of emotions.

"He's at work." I strained to say, my voice cracking and I glanced in a different direction.

Edward looked at me concerned but didn't question me any further; I thanked him silently with a smile

"So where are we going?" I asked trying to brighten my spirits and he grinned.

"Well now, Bella. That is a surprise."

"I hate surprises." I groaned loudly and his grin just grew wider.

"You'll never get it out of me." He said as he climbed into his car. I followed his pursuit and suddenly a plan struck me, I smiled mischievously.

I shifted by body closer to Edward's seat and turned to him, making sure there was very little proximity between us, I felt my pulse begin to increase.

"Please Edward can you tell me where you are taking me." I whispered lowly leaning my face closer to his.

His eyes flickered from my eyes to my lips; I had a hard time fighting back a smile.

"Eh... um.... No?" he said, his resolve starting to fade as I leaned closer, I could see him eyeing my nervously and he pressed his forehead against mine, our lips inches apart.

"Please." I breathed, my eyes open but in control and his eyes widened, I could see he was going to give in. Then as he leaned his lips towards mine, his arm slid back against the steering wheel and abruptly there was a loud beep causing us both to jump apart in shock.

Edward smiled sheepishly at me and all I could do was laugh, I was so close!

His eyes narrowed at me accusingly when he realised what my whole plan had been.

"You Miss Swan are a sneak. You know my one weakness" He teased and started the car before pulling out.

I just smiled and looked out the window, there were heavy clouds in the sky but the sun was managing to peep through them, lighting up bits of the surrounding forests.

We seemed to be driving out of Forks into the open forest and mountains which worried me, since I was definitely not what you would call an adequate hiker.

"Can you at least give me a clue?" I begged but he ignored me, the control now on his side.

"It's green." He replied curtly but with a huge smirk plastered on his face.

"It is Forks after all, I could have guessed that." I grumbled and Edward just chuckled.

"Come on, Bella, please just go along with it. I promise it won't take long." he said and put the full force of his eyes on me, making my legs turned to jello and all I could do was nod.

He looked puzzled at my lack of response; obviously he didn't comprehend the effect he had on me.

The car was advancing into the deeper and denser forest part of Forks, the road was becoming narrower and windier. I glanced towards Edward in confusion but he was staring straight ahead of him, a small smile playing on his lips.

I furrowed my eyebrows but remained silent; my efforts at finding an answer had been fruitless so there was no point questioning him further. I sighed leaning back into the chair sighing and closing my eyes, enjoying the silence. It was a nice retreat from the noise of life that surrounded me every day.

Then I felt Edward place his hand on mine and rubbing circles on it with his thumb. It shot tingles through my hand and up my arm but I loved every second of it. I relaxed even further and smiled to myself.

It was at this exact moment I knew I was in too deep.

The old Bella probably would have panicked, tried to make an escape. But he'd changed me and now I didn't feel scared, it felt... natural.

The car began in slow down and my eyes flickered open to see we were at the edge of a forest.

"Care to explain?" I asked glancing round at our surroundings, which to be honest was just trees followed by more trees.

He just shook his head and I rolled my eyes.

"Of course not." I muttered under my breath and he laughed, having heard me.

He threw his car door open and jumped out eagerly, I climbed out after him then I noticed a large backpack fastened to his back.

"We're hiking." I said more like an accusation than a question.

"Yep." he said popping the "p" and started to walk towards the edge of the forest.

"Edward I can't hike." I mumbled pathetically, cringing at the reality of it.

He turned back to me, smiling sweetly and cupped my cheek with his hand.

"I'd never let anything happen to you." He whispered and placed a tender kiss on my forehead, and by his tone I knew he didn't just mean in hiking.

"Fine." I said and he grinned widely, taking my hand in his and guiding us through the forest, I felt my nerves sink away into nothing just by his reassuring smile and threw my fears into the wind. I could do this, as long as he was here.

*********

Tiredness didn't even cover it. It was more like exhaustion as I leant against the trunk of a tree, catching my breath. I didn't realise how unfit I was until today when I had to try and keep up with Edward's long strides.

Edward was standing with his map, getting our bearings while I took another rest. The sky was starting to cloud over even more and it was starting to get darker, a cool wind blew through the trees causing me to shiver.

Edward picked up on this and glanced over to me with furrowed eyebrows and a frown resting on his lips. Suddenly he ripped off his jacket and wrapped it round my shoulders.

"No you'll get cold." I argued but he just put it tighter round me.

"I made of tougher stuff than you." He smiled and I rolled my eyes, but I decided to humour him.

"Come on, we're nearly there." He promised and helped me up over a large root.

After another ten minutes of walking I started to see light through the trees and as we got closer it got brighter. I could tell that this was the place he wanted to show me through the delight that was written clearly across his face as he stared towards the light.

Suddenly we reached the clearing in the trees and I found myself standing in a huge meadow.

I stared in awe as my eyes traced the place over, implanting the beautiful sight into my memory.

The trees surrounding it were all aligned and created a circle around it. There was a small stream at the side and I could hear the trickling of the water. There were large patched of wild flowers growing up through the long swaying green grass.

There were birds singing in the trees and it made the meadow sound alive. The smells were amazing, a mixture of the flowers, the grass and another sweet scent I couldn't recognise. The sun shone onto the grass causing the water droplets to glisten like tiny mirrors.

I turned to see Edward, his eyes fixed on me and spontaneously I hugged him in happiness.

He laughed in surprise and spun me around in a circle. I laughed along with him and then he put me back on my feet.

"This is amazing." I whispered in awe and his face lit up with energy and glowed with pride, basking me in his warmth.

He guided me on down to beside the small trickling stream, it was a pale grey colour reflecting the sky with bits of golden yellow filtering through it from the sun. Tiny grey pebbles littered it and the soft trickling sound imitated a waterfall. I lay back onto the grass, memorising the scenery around me.

"Bella." Edward whispered quietly and as I turned to look at him his lips caught mine. I smiled against his lips at the gesture and he linked our hands together, playing with mine in his.

"I love you." The words came out scrambled, almost in a question tone and then I threw my hands to my mouth in disbelief, disbelief that I'd said it aloud. Edward was frozen stiff, his hands unravelling from mine. _Oh no._


	10. Chapter 10

_**Bella**_

"What?" he said startled staring at me wide eyed, his face clouded from any emotion and my stomach twisted anxiously, dreading the emotion that would soon flare up in his green eyes, ready to burn me with his words.

"Please don't make me say it again." I pleaded, my face buried in my hands, the familar warmth heated them from my scarlet cheeks.

There was an eerie silence and I was practically kicking myself, _why would I say something so stupid and ruin everything_? I glanced up at him through a gap in my hands to see him staring out into the forest with a strange expression crossing his face. His hands were clutching to the grass, as if he was trying to hold himself down. The roots of each strand started to pick off the ground under his tension. The peace and serenity of the meadow had been swallowed up by the anxiety and tension that had fallen on us both.

I removed my hands from my face slowly and wrapped my arms around my stomach; feeling as if he had launched his foot into it. Biting my lip anxiously, I waited for him to say something. The minutes ticked by and I finally snapped, the silence was creeping in under my skin, tearing me slowly to pieces.

"Please just say something!" I burst out as he sat there frozen, my nerves torn into bits. I wasn't naive enough not to notice his body language screaming discomfort.

"You don't love me." He muttered angrily, he unleashed the power of his eyes onto me and I sunk slightly into the ground, unable to look away from the fierceness, the fury of a storm gathering.

Though now, it was my turn to be shocked.

I contemplated what he said for a moment, his words sinking in slowly and as they did I felt my own anger gather at his pathetic accusation.

"Don't tell me what I feel, you don't know that." I snapped back angrily and my stance became rigid.

"Don't be stupid Bella, of course you don't _love _me." He said frustrated, spitting out the word love. I shuddered at the sound, how could make such a pure word sound so repulsive?

"So I'm stupid for loving you?" I asked rhetorically but he decided to answer me anyway.

"Yes."

I flared with anger further as he watched me arrogantly, it was one thing to reject me, but to do it in such a manner. I pushed myself off the soft ground and my legs started moving on their own accord, dragging me up through the meadow into the trees.

"Bella, where are you going?" he called, his long legs striding after me. I tried my best to keep in front but he easily caught up and pulled me back by my shoulder.

"You know that's not the normal reaction to be told someone's in love with you. Ever heard of "It's not you, it's me" Or are you too good for that!" I spat angrily and he just pulled me back towards him forcefully. I fell into his chest in one swift movement and he caught me with his arms.

"When are you going to learn I'm not normal?" he asked smirking slightly. I boiled over wanting to wipe that ridiculous smirk off his face, instead I pushed myself off him and stormed off in a random direction.

"I hate him so much" I muttered under my breath.

_No you don't, you love him._

Shut up brain!

I finally came to my senses and realised I had no idea where I was going. Edward was leaning casually against a tree, scrutinizing me in a superior stance.

"Stop treating me as a joke Edward! Do I mean anything to you at all or am I just some source of entertainment!" I yelled, my voice echoed off the trees and birds flew off into the air. He stepped back in shock, looking vulnerable for a moment and for one instant I could see through his facade before his defences built up again.

"You know that's not true!" he said defensively causing me to start pacing away into the dark forest.

"You're impossible!" I cried out frustrated and my voice echoed again through the deep empty forest, the trees looking thicker and taller.

I noticed that it had got considerably darker; it must be evening as the light from the sun was fading quickly leaving a dusty pink and red scattered over the horizon. Dark grey clouds loomed above us, taking any sunshine from early away.

I followed the small trail and my feet clumsily tripped over stones that were scattered loosely across it, like their sole reason in life was to make me fall. I could hear Edward's footsteps crunching evenly on the path behind me. I tried my best to ignore it, but my thoughts always went back to the figure looming behind me. I guessed I was going right way because Edward was yet to correct me, unless this was just another way to torment me.

But I knew him better than that. I think.

After an excruciatingly long walk, I reached the edge of the road and breathed out in relief when I saw Edwards's Volvo still sitting there intact and ready to go. That was until I realised I had to get into it with him.

Edward sighed behind me and clicked the car open. Climbing in cautiously, I avoided any eye contact with him at all costs. The air was thick with tension and the more I tried to ignore it, the more it was brought to my attention.

For once I wanted to make noise, anything to break this suffocating silence, so I started to tap my foot against the floor. Edward fidgeted beside me but I continued tapping my foot anxiously, trying to pass the time.

Edward cleared his throat loudly but I took no notice of him as I stared out the window, the rain was starting and was pattering gently against the window, trailing slowly down it like long tears.

"Bella could you please stop tapping, it is very distracting." Edward said, his voice cold and emotionless. I rolled my eyes and continued tapping my foot, if he thought I was going to sit in that horrible silence he was very mistaken.

"Bella for once in your life could you listen to me!!" Edward shouted angrily, latching his hand onto my leg causing me to jump back in my seat in fright. The car lurched forwards and he hit the brakes suddenly, I screamed loudly as a car passed us blaring. Suddenly a sob escaped from my throat and I clutched tightly to my locket hanging around my neck.

Once I'd calmed down I turned to face him and his green eyes were lit with horror. He pulled his hand back that had been gripping my leg.

I immediately stopped the tapping of my foot, curling my feet towards the door as he pulled into my drive.

He stopped the car in front of my house, the driveway still empty and I opened the door.

"Bella I'm-" Edward started but I cut him off by climbing out and slamming the door behind me.

I ran towards the house, fumbling with the lock and finally burst in, no longer able to hold the tears back. Rejection washed over me and I was drowning in it. The house was empty and dark, I wasn't even able to bring myself to turn on a single light as I collapsed onto the sofa, sobbing.

I was realising what happened, he didn't love me, rejected me cruelly and probably never would love me back. He had ripped my heart from my chest and stamped on it right in front of me.

Out the blue there was a bright flash of lightening and a roll of thunder, I screamed out in terror and every horrible memory from that night came flashing back.

"_Mom you're going too fast, there have been flood warnings everywhere. Please just slow down!" I pleaded but Renee was not to be persuaded. The blood seeping out of my leg was making me more and more dizzy but I was conscious enough to know she was going twice the speed limit in normal weather._

_Renee was just purely focused on getting me to the hospital. _

_There was another flash of lightening which lit up the sky, rain and thunderstorms were rare in Phoenix, it was almost like it was an omen of what was to happen._

"_Look mom we're nearly there, I'm fine, just slow down!" I slurred through my wooziness, trying to bargain with her but she wouldn't listen._

_Then just as another flash of lightening lit the sky the tires began to spin out of control. I screamed loudly and so did Renee. She had lost all control of the car and now it was spinning like a death trap across the road._

_Suddenly there was a loud beep that echoed around us and all I could see straight ahead was bright, blinding headlights. That's when Renee let out her last scream,_

"_BELLA!"_

"BELLA!" I could hear the shouting and pounding on the door. It was making the room vibrate and the tears were flowing from my eyes uncontrollably and I stumbled blindly towards the door.

Thrusting it open I could hear another roll of thunder and I saw Edward standing there in the doorway, his bronze hair dripping wet from the rain and his beautiful face twisted in agony.

"Bella." He said gently before pulling me into his arms. The sobs started again and I buried my face into his chest while he closed the door and pulled us inside.

He whispered comforting words into my ear while I cried my heart out and he placed us onto the sofa. I don't know why I was letting him in, my actions were speaking louder than words, I'd forgiven him. I really needed someone right now, I just couldn't relive this nightmare on my own.

Time passed in weird intervals, five minutes would feel like an hour and an hour would feel like five minutes. My crying eventually subsided and the whole time Edward had stroked my hair and held me closely.

"Thank you." I whispered hoarsely as though I hadn't slept for days.

"No, Bella, don't thank me, I don't deserve it. I've been a total ass and a coward." He said, his voice echoing despair but his beautiful green eyes were clouded over. It frustrated me to no end when he covered up his emotions in his eyes.

"You have to understand why I said those things. It was only because I'm bad for you. We can't have a normal healthy relationship because of my past."

"We were never going to have a "normal healthy relationship" if I was ever going to be part of it." I said a bit stronger and running my finger along his jaw and he closed his eyes at the touch.

"I love you Bella. I should have told you in the forest instead of letting it drag on like this and just hurt you even more." He replied and it was my turn to freeze up. I sat for a moment comprehending this idea before speaking.

"Edward you don't need to say that for my sake," I mumbled quietly, my head bowing slightly. I loved him but I didn't want the sympathy vote. It made me seem even more pathetic, "I want you to say you love me because you actually do. Not just because you feel compelled to because I said it."

"Jeez Bella you really are stupid." He chuckled and I glared at him angrily but I could see sparks of humour lighting his face.

"I'm not insulting your intelligence because you have more than enough of that; it's just your blindness. When I say I love you I mean it. I've never said it to anyone before and I don't plan on saying it to anyone else." He promised me and interlinked our hands together.

The silence returned but this time it was comfortable. I gazed out the window for a moment

"So what else were you crying over?" he asked softly and I stared up at him, my eyes wide with confusion.

Just then there was another flash of lightning and thunder rumbled furiously. I jumped at the noise and he pulled me tighter. At this movement my silver heart pendant locket fell from out of my top and into Edward's sight.

He toyed with it in his hands for a moment, I studied his face and I could see the locket reflecting in his green orbs.

"I want to know the secret of the locket." He whispered and I bit my lip.

Part of me wanted to hide away, snatch it out of his grasp and bottle everything back up into my mind. However another part of me was longing to confide my secrets to him, to be free of this burden I carry with me everywhere, even just a little bit of relief would be nice. The problem was I didn't know which part was more dominant.

"You don't have to tell me, if you don't to." He said noticing my hesitancy and tucked a small lock of my hair behind my hair.

We sat in silence for a moment and eventually I found my answer.

"No, I want to tell you."


	11. Chapter 11

**BPOV**

Edward watched me like a hawk, silent but deadly. I don't know why my mind chose to be intimidated by him at this moment. I think it was because I was finally allowing myself to be vulnerable after my mother's death. I was finally opening up, and it scared the hell out of me.

"My mother was a woman of secrets. Everywhere she went, everywhere _we _went her secrets followed behind us like a shadow. I only got the just of some of these secrets on my 16th birthday. I was young and naive enough before to notice anything out of the ordinary, but patterns started to develop and I began to understand my mother better."

Edward's grip tightened around my waist but his eyes were fixed solely on mine that I don't think he noticed. I shifted out of his grasp, if I was going to tell this story those green eyes needed to be out of my sight.

"Renee had the habit of getting mixed up with the wrong crowd. Even from her teenage years she was never a good judge of character. She always tried to see the good in people, even though they were completely rotten."

"Looks like you got one trait from your mother." Edward muttered under his breath. I put the full force of my glare on him, and he just smiled sheepishly.

"This is not about you or me for once Edward, please let me finish." I said sternly and he just nodded, his eyes telling me he was sorry.

"Renee wasn't a devil but she wasn't a saint either. She did drugs for a year when I was in high school, she got in trouble with the police and she couldn't keep a job for longer than a year. But through it all she never meant harm, she just was never one for with standing peer pressure.

She was erratic, unfocused and unpredictable but I still loved her. However her taste in men was something to be desired. She started dating when I was fourteen but nothing would ever last much longer than a couple of dates. Once one man had enough of her, I'd take out the ice cream and chick flick and we'd curl up on the sofa together.

The dates started to become less frequent and nights in became more common. I was finally bonding with her and there was no extra weight of a man following behind. It all changed on my 16th birthday."

My head started to flick back through my past, and the silence consumed us again as I was swallowed up by the memories.

"_Bella are you sure you don't want any guests round? It is your sweet sixteenth after all!" Renee called from the bathroom, she was busy putting makeup on claiming she wanted to look good for the pictures. _

_I was spending my birthday with just Renee in our cosy house in Phoenix but I wouldn't have had it any other way._

"_No mom, this is just perfect."_

_The two of us sat down at the table and she sang Happy Birthday to me a bit out of key, I laughed and cut the cake with the large carving knife, Renee watching me cautiously in case I slipped. There was a glint of something in her eye and I studied her carefully as a smile tugged on the corner of her lips._

_Then from behind her back she pulled out a perfectly wrapped box, it was small and the silver wrapping paper glinted in the light. I felt a grin pull on my face. I hated receiving gifts but as always my mother was an exception to the rule._

_I help the tiny box in my hand, contemplating whether to open it now or later. But one look at the anticipation in Renee's face made my mind up instantly. I tore the paper away carelessly an it lay on the floor. I pulled the small box open carefully and it revealed a small blue pendant, attached to a thin silver chain that slid easily through my hands. _

"_Look." Renee said quietly and pulled open the blue pendant, it opened to reveal to empty frames. _

"_I don't want me in any of those frames Bella, only you and someone really special can go in there."_

_The tears were pricking in my eyes at the sentiment of the gift and I wrapped my arms tightly around her, as if to never let go._

_Just as soon as the moment had come it was ruined by loud thumps on the door, shaking the room and the door on its hinges. I glanced up at Renee who was clutching tightly to my arm, her eyes never leaving the door._

_Suddenly with one huge force the door fell back and suddenly there were people flooding in our door. They were policemen and one of them shouted to search the house. I couldn't breathe, couldn't see, everything was a blur and all I remembered was that look of pure horror on my mother's face._

_Everything was jolted into focus when I felt a stabbing, sharp pain. I screamed out in pain and fell to the ground, the long sharp carving knife lying beside me._

My breath was hitched and I felt the panic coursing its way through my veins. I was back again in my dad's living room, with Edward watching me with pained eyes.

"No, no" I muttered to myself and that spiked Edward's attention.

"What, what is it?" he moved closer to me but I pushed back, my back pressed firmly against the wall.

"How can you do this? How can you make me spill my heart out to you, tell you all my secrets when I can barely think about them myself?!" My tone was becoming increasingly angered and I felt my temper rising.

It wasn't him who I was angry with, it was myself. I was angry that I had so little control around him, and it boiled down to me feeling vulnerable and dependent. If I was dependent on people, it only left room for disappointment.

"I think you should go." The words tumbled out of my mouth, in a barely coherent sentence. But with the look on Edward' face, I knew he'd registered perfectly what I said.

I was expecting more of a fight, at least one argument, but with one fluid motion Edward was on his feet.

I didn't move from my position on the floor and he stared at me intently, the tension thick in the air but I couldn't move.

"Bye Bella." He muttered before in a couple of long strides made his way to the door. Then as the door shut behind him I felt my heart walk out that door too. I was left an empty mess, curled up on the floor and I finally let out my emotions in wretched sobs.


	12. Chapter 12

**_Hey guys, okay so i've been asked some questions in reviews which i need to answer,_**

**_1. Edward's surname is Masen- totally my fault for the confusion, I got carried away while writing and forgot this detail and typed Cullen in previous chapters._**

**_2. The Cullens are vampires_**

**_Any more queries let me know, though I can only answer non-spoilers!_**

**_Enjoy!_**

**_Edward_**

The silence was terrifying, I struggled to breath for a moment as I stared emptily out the windshield of the car, Bella's house fading away into the scenery as I drove further down the road. I couldn't think straight and my head was throbbing. She hated me, _she_ _hates me._ It was repeating round and round in my head, three words worming their way through my body and torturing me to the point of insanity.

I needed that girl more than life, she was my oxygen, food, water, everything. Yet I couldn't even tell her that, three beautiful words had changed to three horrific ones. I love you, I hate you. She didn't say the former three out loud but the implications where there, glaring me in the face.

"Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!" I screamed in my car and slammed my head against the steering wheel that caused a young couple in the car beside me to glance over in bewilderment, they both had bright happy eyes and were enraptured by each other. I glared at them, jealousy getting the better of me, causing them to quickly turn away in embarrassment.

The regret from all my poorly made choices flooded back, I shouldn't have let her sit beside me at lunch, I shouldn't have kissed her, _I should have told her I loved her_.

Jacob ruined my whole plan as always; I couldn't ever let him near Bella, not if my life depended on it. I hadn't been planning to kiss her either, it was a spur of the moment, but it was incredible. I've never felt so alive, maybe I didn't regret it after all.

Leaving that house was harder than I imagined, each sob that had spilled out from her chest had given me more and more reason to stay. But I had to fight past it, with each step I took, a stabbing sensation filled my chest.

I pulled up outside our huge white house, buried deep in the forest and noticed dad's black Mercedes-Benz was already parked in the driveway. I should have seen it as an omen after the day so far, but obliviously I walked through the door ignoring any tell tale signs of what was to come.

Most of the lights were out except a faint one shining out from the kitchen, there were low murmurings coming from the room and I approached it with caution. The words became clearer and I realised Mom was arguing with Dad.

"Edward I don't know what's going on. He's just started getting really friendly with the new girl at school. She hasn't heard any of the stories yet."

"Elizabeth, what does she look like?" Dad asked, egging her on for more details.

"You're being a bit unreasonable, maybe he just wants a friend. Imagine what it would be like if you were in his situation." Mom said, ignoring his question, her tone suggesting anxiety.

"What does she look like?" Dad asked more threateningly.

"She's really pretty, big brown eyes, quite petite."

Everything slowly sunk in; each word that left Mom's mouth was a betrayal to me. I leaned against the wall concentrating on my breathing, trying to stay under control. I focused on the cool hardness of the painted wall I was leaning against, trying to stop myself from bursting in.

"Has there been any strange activity with them?" Dad asked in a professional tone, the one he used in his "therapy" sessions. I snarled to myself, he made us sound like an experiment that he wanted to test and write a conclusion for.

This one really hit home though and against my own will my legs pulled me into the kitchen. The conversation abruptly stopped and they froze up at the sight of me.

"Edward we didn't know you were there." Mom said in a soft and sorrowful voice.

"Yeah well I was." I said coldly and glaring at her, I could almost hear the thoughts of guilt racing through her mind.

"Edward we-" Dad started but I interrupted him,

"I'm glad to see you think so much of me, _father._" I spat and started to walk out.

"Edward do you know what you're getting yourself into?" He said slowly, practically spelling it out for me.

"She's just a friend! Can't I have a friend for once in my life, do I not deserve that at least?" my voice and face was livid and then my words came out like poison," Or am I really a soulless creature who doesn't deserve anybody?" The words struck my father, whipping him cold and hard against his face.

"It's not like that, it's just we don't... we don't want you to... fall into temptation. She'll set you off the track again. It would be better if you left her alone, save yourself the trouble." He looked like he cared and I really wanted to believe that he did. But nothing could mask the distrust in his eyes; everything about him screamed suspicion, from his rigid stance to his cold and detached tone.

I could no longer see my father in him, the man who read to me before I slept, who taught me piano, the man who once loved me as his son. This stranger was only a whisper of the soulful man that once had filled our lives; he'd been ruined by deception and distrust.

"Listen to yourself. Why could you never see that I was telling the truth? I bellowed, my voice fierce, "Why can't you just trust me? I'm your son." My voice cracked as the weight of despair finally pulled me down. Turning away from them, I headed directly back out the door getting away from my so called family.

"Edward we're only worried about you." I heard Mom call desperately, her figure slumping against the narrow doorframe, exhausted and worn down. Her voice was weighed down with grief, watching her only child leave her behind. Her green eyes had lost their vibrancy and were now home to solitude tears which would escape slowly down her cheek, breaking free from the misery. Her eyes never left my car as I sped off, escaping from all this pain and despondence.

_**Bella**_

The wind shook the house and the rain battered against the window and all I could do was stare pathetically at the ceiling. There wasn't one light illuminating the house, each room engulfed by darkness, yet I didn't move, letting the darkness swallow me whole. I lay awake waiting for Charlie to come home once again, except this time I knew he wasn't.

So why was I waiting?

The red light of my alarm clock read 2.15a.m and I sighed shutting my eyes once again, wishing hopelessly for sleep. My eyes felt heavy and I began to drift off when a small tapping noise echoing through my room. I jumped out of my state, sitting up swiftly and tightened my grip on my blanket, glancing around nervously.

"Who's there?" I called, my voice shaking and I knew too well that I didn't have much in line of defence. But then again, burglars never knock.

I climbed out of bed, this knowledge having comforted me slightly and listened for the knock again. This time it was louder and the source was from my window.

Fearfully I grabbed my hairdryer as a weapon and slowly approached it. I could see a shadow behind my curtain and my lungs filled with air, preparing for scream.

I yanked the curtain back but the air gusted out of my chest silently as I stared at the Edward's legs clinging onto the tree awkwardly and his hands clenching the window sill.

I wrenched the window open as I fast as I could, at first he seemed reluctant to come in but eventually he pulled himself over. The water was dripping off him, long streams of it sliding down his face from his hair. His clothes were drenched, his boots sodden and his face was void of any emotion.

"Edward-" I began but he cut me off when swiftly pulling me into him, wrapping his arms around my torso. The water soaked through my clothes from him, but ignoring it I twisted my arms around his neck. Slowly Edward pressed his cool forehead against mine, closed his eyes and breathed in slowly.

"I'm sorry Bella." He whispered, his eyes still closed and his voice was genuine and pure.

"It's fine." I muttered soothingly, my fingers twisted up through his wet hair. There was no unforgiving silence anymore, I could his deep soothing breaths and feel his chest raising up and down slowly against mine.

"No it's not," he said louder his eyes flickering open and stared straight into my eyes, as if he was trying to read my soul, "I do love you."

I closed my eyes and let a smile pull at my lips for a moment before putting my emotions away for later.

I pulled out of his grip, sliding back into my room, he watched me with cautious eyes. For a moment it felt like time had stopped, until I found my voice again.

"What happened to you?" I asked observing his down trodden appearance once again, rubbing my hand gently up and down his arm.

"Life." He answered gravely pulling away from me as if to leave again but something stopped him in his tracks.

"Bella?" he whispered, his eyes fixed outside the window, "Did you see something move outside?"

My eyes scanned outside the window again but there was no movement, the night was still and calm. Edward was tense, his hand clutching my arm.

"Edward," I whispered, "please calm down, you're scaring me. What's happened?"

I found myself being pulled away from the window sharply by Edward's large arms, his movements were quick and panicky, like a wild cat trapped in a cage. His grip was tight and his eyes were glazed over, as if he was in a different place, trapped in his memories.

I placed my hand on his cheek gently and soothed his face by letting my hand glide across his cheekbones. This brought him back slowly and his eyes focused on mine.

"Sorry Bella," he said, "you must think I'm crazy." His eyes were filled with pain and confusion; they flickered around the room before they settled on mine again.

"No I don't. Come on you are soaking, you need to change out of your wet clothes." His shirt was clinging to his body leaving little to the imagination and I struggled to keep my eyes from glancing down from his face to his torso. His grip loosened around me and I smiled gently before heading to Charlie's room to grab a shirt and pants.

Charlie's room was empty and cold, his bed perfectly made and untouched. I walked reluctantly to the wardrobe and fished out an old red checker shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants.

However as I was about to leave, a silver glint in the far corner caught my eye. It was a small silver frame placed on his wooden bedside table. The frame stood out grandly against the faded blue wallpaper and wooden panelling, as if it was a prized possession.

I picked it up and automatically tears pricked in my eyes, it was a picture of dad, mom and me the day I was born. Renee's dark chestnut hair sticking to her face from the labour, her eyes tired and weak but a smile that showed pure unadulterated happiness. Charlie's brown eyes told a story of their own, the bright energy and life displayed joy and youth, like his life was finally complete.

I set the picture down slowly and returned back to my room.

As I opened my door I was met by a harsh cold breezed that stung my face, then the empty silence that filled the room. My window had been flung open in dismay and Edward was nowhere in sight.

I sprinted to the window but outside was much the same. The wind made to trees shake violently and I could feel the droplets of rain beat my face as I leaned over the ledge desperately looking for Edward, but he'd disappeared into the shadows. Suddenly there was a howling noise sounding through the night air making me shiver involuntary and pray that Edward was okay.

"Edward!" I called out into the night, but no answer ever came.

Bewildered and exhausted I moved back into bed and pulled light purple sheets over my head, trying to block out my constant thoughts so I could drift into the numbness of sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Bella**_

The next day had been long and dreary; I had woken from a restless night sleep and was edgy to get into school to get some answers from Edward. However to my dismay he hadn't showed up. As I walked through the corridors that day and sat in the library at lunch, it made me realise how dependant I was on Edward. Without him I'd be completely alone. The day was long, I blended in with the crowd my thoughts always straying back to last night, never giving me a moment of peace. When the last bell rang, I've never felt more relieved to be able to return to the silence of my own home.

The truck seemed slower today as I drove home, I had struggled even more than usual to get it to start and now it just kept conking out. I knew it wasn't the trucks fault, it was me. My concentration span was limited. As I pulled outside the house I was surprised to see the driveway wasn't empty, there was Charlie's cruiser and a large jeep taking up most of the space making me park the car on the bland grey sidewalk.

I nervously opened the white washed crooked door that squeaked on it's hinges when I was met by the TV set blaring and loud shouts.

"No, go left. Pass It!"

"Yes that's it, kick downfield!"

Then there was a resounding "YESS!"

I clicked the door behind me and saw Charlie, Billy Black and Jacob Black watching the football game intensely.

"Bella you're home!" Charlie said smiling at me, acting like nothing had happened. I stared at him in shock for a moment, it'd been days since I'd seen him.

"You mean you're home." I said my voice cold and hard, my gaze flickering away from him angrily. His moustache twitched nervously and his eyebrows furrowed anxiously, then his gaze returned slowly back to the screen.

"Hey Bella." Jacob said grinning at me from the sofa. I could recognise that smile anywhere, even if it had only seen it once or twice. It was just so care free and infectious.

"Hi Jacob" I smiled brightly and he stood up to pull me into a bear hug.

"You know each other?" Charlie asked but he was only half paying attention as he was focused on the game, still not meeting my eyes.

"Yeah I had the pleasure of meeting Bella in school a week or two ago. She looked like a deer caught in headlights on her first day!" He said laughing but there was an edge to it, clearly the tension with Edward was far from cleared up.

"Well, why don't you kids go out the back or something." Charlie said loudly before shouting something at the TV. Anger stirred through my veins, I felt like shouting at him, telling him to look at me, talk to me! Anything but the constant disregard for me.

I led the way out and it was now I saw the full extent of Jacob's height and build, he towered over me, nearly a foot taller, and his muscles bulged out of his arm intimidating, ready to crush any threat. "So Bella how's Forks high school going for you?" he asked politely and sat down beside me on the garden chair.

"So-so." I replied dryly. I didn't want to tell him that the only reason I was putting up with it was because of Edward.

"Yeah I know the feeling." He said and half smiled at me, his arm stretched out across the back of the chair relaxed and I felt less nervous but still slipped forward in my chair cautiously.

"Jake you've so tall! I feel like a dwarf beside you." I said laughing and he ruffled my hair playfully chuckling.

"No, it's just you because you _are _a dwarf."

"So any girls?" I asked and nudged him and to my delight a small blush rose on his cheeks and I smiled in response.

"Well there is this one girl..." he said quietly and stared down at his shoes.

"Who?" I urged, my curiosity getting the better of me.

"I can't say, it's a secret." He smirked mischievously.

"Is she your girlfriend?" I asked.

"She should be... she just doesn't realise it yet." His voice sounded more down trodden now and I raised my eyebrow slightly confused.

"And what about you?" he asked his voice rising slightly, his tone full of implications, "Who's the guy?"

"There is no one." I mumbled, but I knew that my pathetic lie was revealed when the heat rushed to my cheeks and a blush formed on them.

"Yeah sure, the blush says it all, so who is it?" he said tugging at me smirking, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"No one." I said stubbornly

"Who?" he insisted.

"No one."

"Bella..."

"Jacob...."

"Please tell me." He said and put the full force of his eyes on me and I felt my resolve melt into nothing.

"Edward Masen." I mumbled quietly and I glanced up at his face. We sat in a stony silence for a while and I began to feel nervous and his hand clenched and unclenched.

"Edward Masen." He repeated his voice unemotional and detached. He was staring straight ahead of me, trying to hide his anger but his jaw was clenched and his nostrils were flared.

"Yes." I said stronger, ready to defend Edward.

"Why are you hanging round with scum like that Bella? You could do so much better." He shouted angrily, taking me aback.

"He's. Not. Scum." I seethed furiously, my teeth clenched and I turned sharply towards him.

Jacob noticed how furious I was and relaxed slightly.

"I'm sorry Bella, I know he's your friend. It's just people aren't always what they seem to be." He said in a sad tone and I cooled slightly, glad he'd stopped shouting.

"I don't believe it, Edward is a good person." I said defensively.

"Bella I don't want to be the one to tell you this but I think you need to know the truth." He said solemnly. I glanced up towards him, slightly fearful. _Ignorance is bliss, Bella!_

"Tell me what?" I asked anyway, scared of what the answer might be.

He sucked in some air loudly and began to speak again,  
"Last year, there was a girl called Bree Wilson in the school, she was a very pretty girl, curly blonde hair, bright blue eyes and a bubbly personality. She was quite popular and she was best friends with Jessica Stanley, who just happened to be in Edward's ex-girlfriend."

My stomach twisted at these words and I shifted awkwardly in my seat, jealously stirring in my veins.

"The two were inseparable, like sisters and because of her being around Jessica and his friends so often, Edward harboured a crush on her. I think it was innocent at first, he let his feelings known to her but she did not return them so she politely declined, trying not to hurt his feelings.

Masen didn't take it very well, I think he went through a bad patch then, got a bit obsessive. It got so bad that Bree had to stop hanging about with their group of friends and met Jessica outside of school. Then for the winter dance Masen asked Bree out again and she declined again. He was furious but tried his best not to show it, but you could see right through it in school. He was always staring at her, watching her every move like a creepy pervert.

Someone else asked Bree and she accepted. Edward got more and more jealous so he decided to go to the winter dance without a date, even though he'd had offers, Jessica Stanley for one, but all he wanted to do was keep an eye on Bree. He watched her for most of the night from the punch table.  
Then later on there were screams heard from outside and people ran out to find Bree lying on the ground, beaten quite badly, bruises covering her face and body, large scratch marks running down her arms and her dress torn in several places. Masen was found there on the scene of the crime with her.

Naturally he denied it all, he even had the nerve to blame it on someone else. The police couldn't press charges because they had no evidence against him, even though it was clear as day he'd done it. His father must have paid quite a sum of money to get his name cleared."

The tears were streaking down my face as Jacob finally finished quite abruptly. My heart was twisted and aching, I felt physically sick.

"You're lying." I said weakly not meeting his eye.

"I wish I was, Bella, really, I hate to see you like his but you needed to know the truth." He said and rubbed circles in my back, trying to sooth me.

I couldn't take just sitting there any longer so I pushed his arm off me and ran into the house, looking frantically for my car keys.

"Bells are you alright?" I heard Charlie call distantly. This was not a good time for him to start acting like my father.  
I didn't reply, it's not as if he gave a damn anyway. I finally found them, my hand was shaking violently but I ignored it and grabbed them running out the door.

"Bella where are you going?" I heard Charlie call but I slammed the door not giving him an answer. I was shaking even more and the tears became more frequent. I felt broken all over again.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Bella**_

I didn't even know were I was driving to, or if the truck had enough gas in it. I just knew I needed to get out of Forks, well at least to the outskirts. I watched my surroundings melt past me into a blur of green and it reminded of my first day here.

If only Renee was alive, I could ask her what to do. She'd become mature for a moment, her brown furrowing her eyes delicate and soft, concerned. She'd lay her hand over mine and help me by telling me what the right thing was. Then after it all, she would make me smile. Without her I was just downright confused.

I couldn't concentrate on my driving, my vision was blurry from the tears and I pressed down to hard on the brakes, causing the truck to jump suddenly and serve on of the road. My hands were sweating and shaking as I was gripping the steering wheel too hard.

I eventually realised I probably had gone far enough and pulled into a huge park. There were swings and slides but it looked abandoned, probably because of the huge, black clouds hanging overhead.

I had a flashback, my mother pushing me on the swing laughing and I shouted "higher!". Her caramel coloured hair, brown eyes, warmth and love for me was evident even in my memory. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hold the pieces left of myself together.

I took a seat on a small wooden bench that had graffiti over plastered over it, there were random names, little doodles and two names surrounded by a heart.

_Kyla and Matthew forever_

My finger traced the surrounding heart absently and my thoughts wandered back to earlier, my heart tightened thinking about what Jacob had told me.

The story kept replaying in my head, I could almost see the scene happening like some sort of movie, but each time I could never picture Edward as how Jacob had described him. He never gave me any impression to suspect him of any sort of actions. I'd trusted him whole heartedly, but I was in pieces now, not knowing what to think.

But it had been all laid in front of me and in detail. It made sense, why the student population seemed to despise him and why the students avoided him like the plague. I started to drift back into my thoughts when suddenly I heard a shuffle from behind me.

"Bella?" I heard a voice say and I jumped and screamed to find Edward staring at me with a pained expression. I blinked twice to check that my imagination had not just conjured him up to taunt me, but I knew it was him. His green eyes were twisted with pain and his bronze hair was standing on its ends, damp with the dribbling rain.

"Edward how did you know I was here?" I asked weakly not even recognising my own voice. It was hoarse and raw and my words stuttered out in a rush.

"I was out for a drive and saw your truck pulled up at the side of the road." He answered.

"Oh." I answered half heartedly, he didn't move he just watched me for a moment silently. Then it was as I something had clicked inside him and his facial expression turned to pure horror.

"Someone said something didn't they." He stammered nervously and he clenched his fists tightly, my heart began to thump rapidly. How had he figured it out so soon?

I didn't say anything, I didn't even move. What was there to say?

"Who?" he demanded.

"Jacob." I said quietly, another tear sliding down my cheek. This time though because I felt like I'd betrayed him.

He walked over to me and sat beside me on the bench but I just stared at one of the swing sets as the wind pushed it gently back and forth, creaking loudly like a ghost was pushing it back and forth.

"Bella look at me." He whispered and I used what strength I had to turn round to face his broken expression. His eyes were raw with emotion, his skin was pale and taut and there were dark circles under his eyes.

"It's not true, I promise you with my whole heart," I sat in silence and he tipped his head toward mine, are foreheads almost touching, "You've got to believe me, you're the only one to give me a chance. Bella I lo-" he cut himself off there and took a sharp intake of air.

"Whatever had been said, it is far from the truth. No one ever listened to my side of the story; they just heard what they wanted to hear. That perfect Masen was the complete opposite, a psycho, stalker and a woman beater. But Bella that isn't me, you know that! Please tell me you believe me." He faded on the last sentence, quiet and pleading.

I sat in silence for a moment, my mind reeling over all the information I received over the past hour, it was too much for one person to handle.

My head was telling me _No don't believe him, he's lying. _

But my heart was shouting at me, _Yes trust him_, _you love him_

There was an internal battle inside of me, violent and bloody, it wouldn't end until everything was destroyed. I couldn't answer his question yet so I asked him one instead.

"What's your side of the story?"

I knew he hadn't been prepared for this by the way he stared at me with his eyes wide and panicked.

"I…I don't think I can tell you." He said his voice full of regret. The voice in my head was amplified, blocking out my heart.

"What do you mean? You just said that no one listens to you. Well here I am, ears open, and you won't tell me. What the hell am I supposed to think!" I said angrily through my tears.

His jaw clenched and he sat up defensively, he was tearing my heart piece by piece the longer he took to speak.

"How do I know Bella that it won't come back to haunt me? You don't know what it's like, trying to live with these people who just want to break my life more and more." His voice was detached and uncertain but I could see the determination in his eyes and it scared me.

"So what you're saying is, you don't trust me, you think I'd tell the whole world." My words came out more scornful than intended, I read between the lines and I could the accusation in his words in black and white. He didn't trust _me. _The irony of it all struck me, leaving me numb.

"It's not like that Bella, it's just…" but he couldn't finish and I felt myself swell with fury, here I was going to give him a chance but he was throwing it back in my face.

I stood up to walk away but he followed, grabbing my arm so I fell back towards him.

"What else do you want from me?" I yelled at him, "I gave you my friendship, trust and love, for absolutely nothing in return. Just because I wanted too! I gave you all of me. What else is there left? Do you want my dignity too?!"

I was breathing heavily, I felt out of control, away from my rational thinking but I felt he hadn't given me a choice to behave otherwise.

"No, Bella, please don't say that." He said weakly, his eyes were intense but his emotions remained concealed, he wasn't letting me see the real him.

"You know Edward, maybe Jacob's right. Maybe I can't trust you, you aren't as you seem." I spat, it was a low blow and I could feel it but it wasn't me talking anymore it was all my pent up rage being released. From my mother being stripped away from my life, my father's avoidance, my old life and friends ripped away and now Edward and his inability to trust me, everything was finally hitting me.

Now I could see him fuel up and his eyes seemed to turn black with rage.

"You know what Bella, I said you were different. But maybe you're not. You're like the rest of them. You just wanted a piece of Edward Masen, so you could spread more lies about me. That's all, wasn't it?!"

His accusations really hit home and I choked back a sob. I didn't want to show my weakness in front of him, I tried to pull away but his grip was too tight and he yanked me forward, his eyes dangerous and threatening.

"So that's what you think of me then," he said low and darkly, "I'm just scum that can't be trusted. I could hurt you next."

He was getting closer to me and the electricity between us was nearly unbearable but I pushed it aside. I wasn't frightened of him, deep down I knew he would never harm me.

"And you have such a high opinion of me as well," I said my voice dripping with sarcasm, "I'm really just a gossip, who was out to hurt you the whole time!"

We stood in silence, if we were an inch closer we'd be touching but we both just glared into each other's eyes. I felt the rain starting, droplets falling onto our faces, one slid down his forehead."

"There's more to you though Bella, something that happened in the past. You won't tell anyone, I can see it in your eyes. Your mother?" some of the anger had retreated from his expression and his voice was softer, he touched the locket hanging on my neck.

I gasped and took a large step back. How had he known about it? Was I that much of an open book? I'd never mentioned anything to him before.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Just... just stay the hell out of my life!" I shouted but the tears falling from eyes.

I couldn't take it anymore; taking advantage of his moment of concentration relapse I sprinted away towards my truck.

He called my name out loudly but he never followed and for that I was thankful.

I threw myself in and roared the truck to life. I drove on down the road my vision becoming blurry from the tears. The rain was thumping down harder and I finally lost the will to go on further so I pulled over to the side of the road. I let myself fall to bits, sobbing freely and burying my head in my lap, letting my hair fall over my face.  
My mind was streaming my mind with thoughts, I didn't know where I was or how I'd get home, since the truck was too low on gas.

I began to panic slightly but I couldn't force myself to do anything about it, so I remained there. A crash of thunder echoed through the sky, and a spark of lightening flew down, lighting the sky in a shade of deep purple for a moment before fading away to the dark black of night.  
Suddenly there was a knock on my window and I jumped back in fright. I could only see a black, looming silhouette in my window, they slowly pulled my door open and I pushed myself against the driver's door, ready to make an escape at any moment.


	15. Chapter 15

_**Bella**_

"Stay away!" I shouted weakly loudly, waiting for the attacker to reveal themselves at any moment. I could see tomorrow's headlines already,

_Schoolgirl found dead in truck, murderer still on the loose._

I was shaking wildly and I tried to find something to throw that would buy me some time, I reached quickly for my phone and gripped it tightly, ready to hurl it at any moment.

"Bella?" I heard a voice say and the door was pushed open to reveal the small and petite Alice Cullen, her black hair slightly wet. I stared at her in shock, still gripping my phone tightly, so tightly that my hand was starting to ache. She watched me cautiously but she had an amused smile planted on her face,

"Bella, if someone was going to attack you. Would it not have been better to call the police, than assault them with your phone."

A small blush rose on my cheek at my idiocy. Suddenly her pretty face turned serious,

"Did anyone hurt you?" her question full of implications. This girl barely knew me yet she was concerned fully about my health. Then I realised who this question was directed at and it made my stomach twist in agony.

"No one laid a finger on me." I said and finally let go of my phone. Suddenly a strike of lightening lit the sky , followed by a roll of thunder, I jumped back, my heart racing frantically. She watched me for a moment and then glanced at the dial of the truck, obviously noticing the no fuel light flashing.

"I'll give you a lift home." She said kindly and smiled at me, "I'll call a pick-up truck to come up and pick your truck up."

"You don't need to do that." I mumbled pathetically, twisting my hands nervously.

"Sure I do, I want to help." And she climbed out and left me sitting there confused, what has she to do with any of this?

I followed her out and saw her small yellow Porsche sitting in the rain with its lights flashing orange through the mist of rain plummeting to the ground. My jaw dropped open at the expense of the car but covered it up by clamping my jaw tightly together. As I climbed into the car I was met with a rush of heat and immediately felt a bit better, knowing at least I had a way home. Alice revved up the engine and flew down the road at an illegal speed, not glancing at me once, her expression pained as she concentrated completely on the road. At that point I knew something had happened but I didn't intrude, I barely knew the girl anyway.

The stiff silence was breaking me, apart I didn't want to be left alone with my thoughts right now.

"How did you know I'd be there?" I said breaking the silence.

"I didn't," she replied, "I was just out driving."

Her answer only led to more questions in my head. What was she actually doing? No one in their right mind goes driving in a storm, unless you're an idiot like me or Edward.

"Bella, whatever you've been told I can sincerely promise you is a very twisted version of the truth. The only person who knows exactly what happened is Edward. I think people should have all realised that long ago, and not have believed the rumours and lies." her voice was breathy and I could tell she was fuming with anger. I stared at her in utter disbelief, how on earth did she know all this? I only recognised her from school and Edward never made any contact with her.

Suddenly the car stopped and I glanced up to see my small white house standing up broadly in front of me.

"Thanks so much Alice." I said gratefully and she gave me a small smile.

"I'll see you soon." And she said in such a deliberate tone that she sounded totally certain of this.

I stepped out of the car and Alice sped off down the road in the opposite direction, her wheels slicing the puddles and causing them to spill up over the road. I opened the door and as I walked into the kitchen a very worried Charlie talking anxiously on the phone met me.

"No she's just home. I'll ring you back later." He said and pressed the phone back down. I looked round and noticed the dishes from early stacked up high, abandoned in the sink and the blinds were wide open, with only one dim light, attempting to light the whole room.

"Bella what happened?" he gasped taking in my downtrodden appearance.

"I don't want to talk about." I answered curtly and headed towards the small wooden stairs to the safety of my bedroom.

"I'm sorry." Charlie said quietly and I turned back to him. His face was crumpled and he looked like he hadn't slept for days, he hasn't looked this bad since the funeral. His old jeans were dirty and scuffed, his shirt looked like it had been thoroughly pulled at.

"I know I've been a terrible father, that I haven't been there for you."

"You're not a terrible father, you're just grieving." I mumbled, not wanting to see his pitiful stance.

"No Bella I have been. All I thought about was myself and not how you're coping. I avoided you because... you reminded me so much of her. What does that say about me?!" he sounded angry with himself and so regretful.

I walked over and hugged him tightly, I was sick of all this fighting; I wish everything could go back to the way it was before.

"It's okay dad, you're here now." I said then let go of him; "I'm going to bed now."

He nodded sadly and I slowly retreated up the stairs. I climbed into bed, not bothering to undress and shut the light off. For a while I just stared out the window watching the lightning flashes, bringing the sky to life frighteningly and listening to the thunder roaring in the distance. I knew the storm was getting further away, and I couldn't help but wonder where Edward was doing at that exact moment.

*******

_**Edward**_

The window wipers squeaked loudly as they pushed the violent rain that was hammering down on my window screen away.

I was sitting in my car down a random road, to be honest I had no idea where I was and I didn't care. After Bella had left, all reason had left me.

_She promised, she promised I wouldn't lose her. _

I know I was being bitter but it was all I could think.

The worst was that it was my entire fault. If I hadn't been such a coward, "man up" as father would have said, and just told her the truth we probably wouldn't be in this mess. The thing was I was fully intending on telling her, I was going to next week, sit her down and explain everything. That was before that piece of crap, known as Jacob Black, got involved. I could picture his massive smirk he would have plastered on his face if he knew the destruction he caused. I knew he had told her with bad intentions and it made me feel sick to the core, he was planning something. I'd tried to keep Bella from him but he seemed to be able to find ways round it. Now I can't protect her from him, she'll barely want to look at me, let alone protect her.

If only I'd told her sooner, before Jacob got in there first, now though everything was ruined. Then a thought struck me rapidly, _I'd nothing to stay here for_, Bella was the only thing that tied me to Forks, the only reason for me to stay in this hellhole. Now that the tie had been broken I was free. I started the car and flung it into life down the long twisty road, eager to get back to my house and leave as soon as possible.

There was an adrenaline rush pulsing through my veins, giving me more life,

_I was free._

Though the price of the freedom was a heavy one as I knew I would've picked Bella over freedom every time. However she'd made the choice for me and there was no turning back now. As soon as I got to the house I flung the door and stormed up the stairs, trying to make as little interaction with my family as possible.

"Edward is that you?" I heard mom calling, her voice frantic and sounded like she had been crying. This was going to be a lot harder than I thought.

"Edward honey, what are you doing?" she asked standing in my bedroom doorway, watching me throw my stuff roughly into a huge duffle bag, her hazel eyes frantic. It's like a band aid, the quicker I get it off, the less painful it will be. I zipped up my bag and paced past her down the stairs. She blocked the front doorway, pushing her arms out. Father approached behind me and was watching the scene unfold.

"Son, where are you going?" he asked.

"I need to get out of here, of Forks. I can't stick this place any longer." my voice was cold and flat, I avoided my mother's gaze, I didn't want to see her face. I knew it would ruin my whole resolve.

"Are you sure this is the right decision? Will this fix anything?" he said, sounding too professional to be talking to me like his son.

"Well things sure as hell aren't getting any better here." I shouted angrily, mostly at his passiveness.

His facial expression changed instantly at my words, knowing that I was being serious. His eyes became filled with sorrow and his tight lips sunk to a frown.

"Please Edward don't go." mom said, clutching her hand on my arm.

"I thought you all wanted me to leave. I'm such a burden, a disappointment. I'll never fit in with the perfect Masen family." I shouted and Dad backed off slightly and flinched and mom let out a small sob that tore at my already broken heart.

"And this is how you really feel." Dad said, agony evident in his voice but I wasn't going to let him or anyone stop me, my decision was already made.

"Yes." I replied, straining to keep my voice cool and calm. Mom let out a strangled sob and Dad wrapped an arm around her comfortingly.

Dad let out a deep and frustrated sigh before shaking his head slightly.

"I'll call your aunt and uncle down in Oregon and let them know you're coming. Please be safe and know we'll be waiting here for you." He pulled a wad of cash from his pocket and I stood there frozen for a moment. He must have known this would eventually happen, it explained why he was so prepared and calm. I didn't even know where I was planning to go until he suggested the Parkers.

I took a long stride out the door and as I did a flash of lightening lit up the sky. My silver Volvo stood out waiting for me to get in and drive away, never turning back. And I did, I roared the engine to life, giving me that same thrill as I sped off, not looking back once. Then just as another flash of lightening lit the sky a deep purple, followed by a roll of thunder I couldn't help but think of Bella and wonder what she was doing at that exact moment.


	16. Chapter 16

_**Bella**_

The next day was a mixture of noise and images; I walked down the corridor in a zombie like state. People pushed past me, laughter and chatter filled the air but I remained on my one-track course, never interacting, constantly moving. The air was cold and bitter, a reminder of the distant storm which had swept over Forks.

The day had been, uneventful, and it was starting to become painfully obvious that my social skills hadn't been exempt in this small town high school. So I was left to the mercy of my thoughts all day and they were torturing me slowly with pricks of guilt and stabs of hurt.

Through the muddled haze of people passing by me, I noticed a pair of eyes glued to me on the corridor, Jacob. He'd smiled at me this morning once put I just looked blankly back, my stare cold and empty. I know it was unfair blaming him for what happened, _don't shoot the messenger and all_, but I couldn't stop myself. I needed to shoulder some of this guilt to someone else. For the rest of the day he just watched me from the distance. I didn't know if it was out of concern or something else, but it made me feel unnerved.

Last night had been a restless sleep filled with never ending nightmares. When one would finally end I would jolt awake, shaking and exhausted,the tainted memory locking intself in my mind until I drifted over again.

It was ironic; I'd finally gotten my wish. I was invisible.  
The expression _be careful what you wish_ _for_ came to mind. I longed to turn the clock back, change everything and just begin again. I felt lonely, isolated and I desperately craved for company. I was missing Edward more than ever. Once or twice I'd been knocked into because someone didn't see me, no one looked at me or talked to me.

I walked into the canteen and immediately looked at my usual table that was vacant. I sighed, tears stinging my eyes, but what else was I expecting? Why would he want to put up with me anymore? In a perfect world he'd be sitting there, his eyes on me with a patient expression. We'd talk about our mistakes, apologize and move on.

But life wasn't perfect and now, I'd lost hope.

I shut my eyes tightly, hoping Edward would sneak up behind me and wrap his warm, comforting arms around my waist, his scent would wrap me into a warm and safe cocoon and I'd only leave when I felt ready. However I felt nothing, except the cold unforgiving draft from the swinging doors of the cafeteria.

I was ready to turn and head towards the toilets and take up a position in one for the cubicles when I heard someone call out my name. Jessica Stanley was waving me over from her table. I stood there for a second, contemplating whether I should run out of the room quickly pretending I hadn't heard her, or risk it and go over.

I decided to take the risk, what else was left to go wrong?

The table was blocked partly by other students and the closer I approached, the more hostile it seemed. Maybe I'd made a mistake… I started to doubt my decision but it was too late to turn back.

"Bella sit here." Jessica said enthusiastically and pulled a chair out between her and a blonde haired boy, Mike. A small girl called Angela with curly brown hair placed neatly in a pony tail smiled reassuringly at me through thin purple framed glasses, her hand was entwined with another boy, Ben, who I knew from Spanish class. He was watching her closely, his eyes tracing over her face with an endearing smile.

"Don't worry Bella, we don't bite." Jessica said noticing my reluctance to sit down, and the girl with the glasses nodded enthusiastically.

Their conversation started again but I didn't keep up, I just glanced subtly, trying to see if Edward had come in. But I hadn't been subtle enough because Angela turned to me and said quietly,

"He's not in today. He's gone to stay with some friends for a while." She smiled sadly at me, sympathy filling her eyes, making me feel nauseous.

"What? How do you know that?" I said too sharply but Angela ignored my tone and continued.

"Elizabeth, his mother, rang my mom in a bit of a state this morning. I thought you ought to know seeing as you were his...emm... friend."

I sat in silence, my emotions and pain doubling over. _He's gone._

I felt sick at the thought and bitterly disappointed that I couldn't see him.

"For how long?" I mumbled, praying it would only be for a week or two.

She shrugged, " I'm sorry we don't know. He left pretty quickly last night, Elizabeth didn't really get to talk to him much." She said, her voice filled with regret and she stared down at her lap. I knew she wasn't telling me all the information but I didn't want to prod and poke for it.

"It's all my fault." I whispered my voice sounding hoarse and raspy. I hadn't intended to say that aloud, I just sort of blurted it out.

"No Bella it's not," she said adamantly, "You're the last person who is to be blamed. If anything you helped him, I hadn't seen him smile in months since you came. We should have been better friends to him." She glanced directly at Jessica and Mike deliberately who had stopped talking abruptly to listen to our conversation.

I still didn't feel any better and I felt lonelier than ever. Essentially it was me who had driven him away and I could never forgive myself for it.

"Don't worry, you've got us for now. Things will work out with you and Edward, I know it will." She said reassuringly and squeezed my hand. She then turned back to Ben who was trying to catch her attention by twirling her hair in his finger.

I sat at the table watching these people conversing who were virtually strangers to me. I longed for Edward to take his normal seat and I could go over to him and feel comfortable again, I was at home with him. I could almost picture him sitting there, a messy array of bronze hair, his green eyes flickering across the table until they met mine and he would smile his crooked grin, telling me through his eyes to come closer.

Even the first day when I asked to sit with him, he was right, I could have sat with anyone else. But the thing was I didn't want to, I only wanted him. I felt like I had something in common with him, he was alone and so was I, so we joined forces. Except, I'd found so much more in him than I'd ever expected.

Part of me wished that I'd just go to the toilet cubical, at least then I could be alone in peace there. The smiles, talking and laughter at this table made me feel more out of place. But I didn't have any other choice now. I'd lost my main choice yesterday.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Bella**_

_6 months later_

"No!" I said my voice determined and strong, I really had to put my foot down this time.

"Please Bellaaaa, pleeeeaaasssseeee. Just one tiny shopping trip for prom dresses." Jessica pleaded me.

"No I went last week, I'd rather endure another makeover than a shopping trip." I said and as soon as the words had left my lips Angela started shaking his head madly while mouthing no but it was too late, Jessica's face had completely lit up.

"Makeover it is then. Once we get back to my house, I'll get everything set up." She said brightly and grinned mischievously. It was my turn to groan and I proceeded to whack my head off the table.

"Stop it!" Jessica chided, "I don't want to have to cover up bruises as well, it will ruin your complexion."

I had an urge then, to completely ruin my "complexion" but I knew Jessica would find a way round it so I stopped while Angela giggled quietly, tugging at her glasses innocently. Jessica, Mike, Angela, Ben and I were sitting in the canteen as usual and Jessica was trying to find more ways to slowly torture me.

The couples were flirting shamelessly and I picked up where I had left my book, preventing myself from feeling like a fifth wheel. At the start I found it awkward around them but I'd grown used to their antics and found my own sources of entertainment when they were busy with each other.

Today however I found myself glancing round an old abandoned table hiding at the back of the room. It had been pushed back further to the corner wall for more space and now there was only one lone chair sitting at it forlornly.

It had been six months since I last saw Edward. His absence had caused a small hole in my life and his memory was like a stranger's smile, warm but distant. Life would have been more difficult without the help of my new friends. I have to admit my first impression of Jessica had been a bad one, but as I got to know her and see past her faults, I could see she was a good person at heart.

Angela and Ben had been so great at the start, always trying to keep me occupied so my mind wouldn't wander. Their genuine love for each other brought a spark to the group, making it easier to suffer through Mike and Jessica's on and off relationship.

The bell rang loudly and Jessica squealed excitedly,

"Yes I've got art now! We're starting our fashion design projects today!" and she jumped out of her seat, kissed Mike passionately on the lips and Angela, Ben and I suddenly found our shoes every interesting. They broke apart breathless and I cleared my throat nervously before saying, "Does she ever run out of energy?" I asked as Jessica skipped off to next class.

"No." they all replied simultaneously laughing and started to head off in their different directions.

Ben took Angela's hand and pulled her into him, she smiled staring into his eyes and he placed a small kiss on her forehead before turning to go to class.

I headed off down the stuffy corridors to biology. I had really hated going to biology since it was just me and the empty seat to endure it. It was only in biology I let my mind wander back to _him._ For all I knew he could be living it up in some new school where he had a no reputation and a beautiful girlfriend.

It was a classic scenario, the gorgeous boy leaves behind the small town and discovers his own true potential in another school. I hated the fact I couldn't get him out of my head. Angela blamed it on how we'd left things; she said I didn't have that sense of closure that I needed desperately to move on.

I nodded my head along, pretending to agree when she told me this. But I knew the real reason was because I didn't want to move on, I was still holding onto that tattered and destroyed dream of Edward and me, and the more I tried to let go, the more it hurt.

Mr. Banner began his long lesson again and I watched the minutes tick by on the clock, I knew once the bell rang Jessica would be standing there, eagerly waiting to drag me off to "beautify" me.

Once class finished I walked out of the classroom, prepared to be met by a bouncing Jessica but instead she was nowhere in sight, my heart sank a little knowing she probably ditched me for Mike. I sighed, annoyed with her unpredictability, however as I turned to leave I was hit by a huge force which knocked me flat to the ground.

"Oww." I mumbled to myself sitting on the ground, rubbing my aching leg.

"I'm sorry about that, I didn't see where I was going." Drawled a smooth southern accent, I glanced up to see one of Alice Cullen's friends standing above me, offering his hand.

He had blonde shaggy hair, coloured with bits of brown, sharp cheek bones, tight lips and piercing black eyes that stared directly into mine. I reluctantly took his hand though my instincts were telling me to run. I was pulled up sharply and I caught my breath from the speed.

"Thanks." I mumbled but his stare never relented. Before I knew it he was a step closer and he sucked in a breath quickly, leaning his head towards me.

"I'll see you around." He muttered abruptly pulling back, his tone sounded more like a question. He shifted his dark eyes from mine and strode off fluidly away. I let out a breath I didn't even realise I was holding.

"Bella, hey!" a voice called in the distance and we both turned to see Jacob pacing towards me. "Damn." I muttered under my breath, trying to escape in a different direction but my legs didn't carry me fast enough before Jacob was at my side.

"Hey Bells." Jacob said and wrapped his huge tan arms around me, engulfing me whole.

"Hi." I said patting his back awkwardly and he squeezed me tightly.

"So have you considered my offer anymore?" he asked eagerly, I almost rolled my eyes in front of him, he just can't take no for an answer.

"I'm sorry Jacob, as I've already said, I'm not going with a date to the dance."

"But Bella _everyone _has to have a date." He whined sounding like a 5 year old.

"Well I'm not everyone." I answered, I was really fed up telling him no.

"You're sure not." He said chuckling, eyeing me up and down.

"Okay I'll see you later." He said and pecked me on the cheek, his lips were rough and aggressive, pressing against my cheek possessively. I pulled away hastily but before I could say anything he was gone.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, how could I get it into his thick skull that I wasn't interested?

********

That night after cooking dinner for Charlie I'd went straight to bed, exhausted from school. Charlie was trying now, he came home at reasonable times and had breakfast with me every morning. Life was starting to look up a bit now, I was settling into a routine even if it wasn't exactly what I wanted. My life had became predictable, I did the same thing every day and the older I got the more I yearned to escape Forks and its patterned and structured ways.

I'd woken up with the light pouring in through my window, lighting each corner of my room. It was like an old friend coming back for a visit, the sun had disappeared for the winter and now spring had returned with hope and new beginnings.

Charlie was sitting downstairs, munching on his toast and slurping his coffee. His relaxed manner made me smile, he was finally moving on with his life, leaving the mourning behind him. After that night I'd come home after the fight with Edward, Charlie had made an incredible effort with me. He always tried to get home for dinner and left at a decent time in the morning so he could see me. Our relationship had really improved as well.

"Morning Bells, should you not be heading off soon?" he questioned glancing meaningfully at the clock, five to nine, _crap._

"Yeah I know," I said grabbing an apple quickly, "I slept in."

"Okay, I'll see you later, be careful." He said.

"I will." I called as I walked out the door.

The sun was throwing rays of light in through the trees making the forest appear to glow and the gentle breeze played with my wavy brown hair. The drive to school was pleasant and I was looking forward to speaking with Angela but I'd have to endure first class Biology before English with her.

I was pushing my luck, the bell had probably already rang, so I sped up as I got towards the school, not wanting a detention. I parked quickly and ran through the nearing empty hallways towards first class, trying not to be seen by the infuriating hall monitor Eric.

I smiled once I reached the door to see class hadn't begun so I was safe. I walked in the door with the usual late comers but when I reached the board I froze up completely, my muscles were completely tense. Mr Banner was staring at me curiously, my entrance edging on the dramatic side. However my mind was only focused on one thing, _The seat was no longer empty_.


	18. Chapter 18

_**Bella**_

I couldn't take my eyes off him, I blinked my eyes checking that it wasn't some crazy hallucination that my mind had conjured up to torture me, but he never disappeared.

His eyes flickered from mine to his books as my legs pulled me forward to the looming desk.

My memory hadn't paid him any gratitude, he was even more handsome than I'd remembered and it was making this so much more painful. His eyes seemed greener; his hair was wild and messy as usual and still had its bronze spark that set my heart alight. It had only been six months yet I could notice subtle differences. He was losing his boyish features and the beginnings of a man were appearing.

I was entranced by the sight of him; the hole that I had patchily tried to cover was suddenly filled with hope. As I reached the desk his familiar scent hit me, sending me heart racing, fluttering against my ribs like a butterfly in a box. I tried to catch my breath and calm down but the effects were only temporary.

By now I convinced myself that my eyes were playing tricks on me, that I was hallucinating. _He's not there, it's just me and I'm going crazy_. For some reason this seemed like a better idea. Though my theory was proved wrong when his hand accidently brushed against me when I sat down and the electricity shot up through my arm.

I could feel the force of his stare now and I shrunk back in my seat, letting my hair fall as a curtain between us. I couldn't breathe properly, my mind was going into full breakdown mode and I needed to get out.

It wasn't until now that I realised how much I needed him, his touch and his kisses I had secretly longed for. I had a desire just to hear his smooth voice but his lips remained shut tight.

His glances were unbearable, our eyes met each other's and I could feel any resolve I had to move one, melting away. His green eyes penetrated my brown ones, as if he were trying to communicate something I couldn't hear.

Why now? Why did he have to come back when everything was finally settling down?

Screw closure, this was way worse.

Then there was the frantic want to stretch out and touch him, just to feel the sparks running through my arms, to feel his warmth under my fingertips. We'd been separated by distance for half a year and now all I had to do was reach out and I could touch him. However his vivid green eyes stared straight at the board, his stance stiff and awkward.

The class was agonizingly long and when the bell rang I jumped out of my seat too quickly, causing me to nearly fall. He was staring at me intently but I couldn't handle it anymore. I ran out of the room as quick as I could, not taking the chance to look back of him. I ran towards the emergency exit door and threw it open, hurrying outside and the rush of cool air soothed me almost instantly. I could think clearly again, away from his intoxicating presence.

I decided to skip next class, I couldn't bear another moment in a stuffy classroom and I'm sure my English teacher wouldn't notice, she was always too caught up in her lesson to even remember there were students.

I slid down the wall and sat down on the hard concrete inhaling and exhaling and as my breathing got steadier I calmed down.

_He was back. Edward's back._

The reality hit me full force there and it was staggering. I was overwhelmed with joy and sadness at the exact same time. I'd missed him so much but he probably hated me. I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes, letting the time whizz past me.

I didn't care if I got caught; a detention was the least of my worries right now. Ironically this morning, detention was the height of my worries.

I didn't really keep track of time, just listened for the bells, waiting for lunchtime to approach. It was ridiculous he had this much of an affect on me but the sad truth was that he did.

Finally the bell sounded for lunch and I got up slowly, my legs stiff from sitting there for so long and my back aching slightly, but I ignored it and snuck back in through the emergency exit.

I walked towards the canteen, focusing only on one table. The one that had been empty for six months was no longer vacant. It was as if nothing had changed, that the last half a year had been all a horrible dream and none of it had happened. I glanced warily over at my friends who were all watching me intently. I walked towards them, my legs feeling heavy and unresponsive.

Angela looked tired and weary, I knew the feeling perfectly. She smiled and said,

"Bella it's okay. You can go over there." She said quietly and Ben wrapped his arm around her and squeezed her tightly. I just nodded, unaware of what I was actually doing.

Then I was walking towards him, it felt so much like old times it hurt.

His face was vacant of any emotion, he gave off a hostile and unforgiving aura but I walked on. I pulled a chair from another table and scraped it on the ground towards him.

"Bella." He said, his voice ringing through the air and it made me feel warm and tingly.

"Are you sure you want to do this here?" he asked cautiously.

I nodded my head, still unable to speak.

"I missed you." I said eventually and he looked up at me shocked, then his face softened and he replied,

"I missed you too, more than you'll ever know." He whispered, not meeting my eyes.

"I see you took my advice." He said chuckling darkly and nodded towards Jessica's table.

"I guess I did." I smiled weakly, I was trying to prevent any sort of feud recommencing.

The conversation was awkward and we were getting nowhere so I just went ahead and said it,

"Do you still hate me? I mean I understand if you do." I said.

He stared at me appalled and then her took my hand in his, I revelled in the warmth and the comfort of his hand, the feeling that this was where my hand belonged.

"Bella I never hated you, how could you think that? I thought that you'd hate me after how I treated you."

"I've never hated you." I whispered but pulled my hand out of his feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"You still think I did it though, don't you?" he said lowly and then the trust issues were all back again. His green eyes were narrowed but the anger from before was gone, disappointment had replaced it.

"No. I never did." I replied curtly, hurt he still thought that. But I didn't want to get angry, I'd been angry for too long.

"I wish I'd never came back." He muttered lowly and I was stung right in the heart. His expression held no remorse towards me, no apology. I was stupid to think I'd get one. I thought that maybe four months would clear things up with him, it was clearly not the case.

"Look if my presence is that bad I'll leave." I said went to stand up but unlike the first time he didn't pull me back and ask me to stay, he let me go.

I went faster and faster, until I was at a running speed, I reached the girls bathroom and locked myself into a cubical and let the tears gush out. It was ironic because this was always one of my options when it came to sitting somewhere. Now though I hated it, everything about my life was falling apart all over again.

I heard the door open and someone called my name,

"Bella?" it was Alice Cullen and it only made me sob more. She heard me and knocked the door.

"Let me in Bella." I stuck my hand up blindly and pushed the lock over.

"What... what are you doing here?" I stared at the small beautiful girl in confusion. She seemed to have a gift at turning up when I was on the brink of an emotional breakdown.

"You looked in need of a friend." She said smiling sadly.

"But... " I was about to argue more but I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. The sob racked my chest and she walked closer to me, pulling me into a hug, I felt no warmth though just a hard coldness, I still sobbed into her shoulder.

"He said… he wished he'd never came back…. he doesn't want me around." I said through my tears and she rubbed my back.

"He doesn't mean it Bella." She soothed.

"He does, why else would he have let me go?" I insisted and this time she had no answer.

"Come on," she said helping me up, "Let's take you home."

We walked out, her arm around mine as she tried to comfort me. I felt weak and pathetic but everything was just too hard to take in.

Then as we rounded the corner Edward was standing there waiting for us.

"Edward move." Alice said calmly, as if she had known him for her whole life. Her grip was uncomfortably tight around my arm, she seemed to sense this however and immediately it was loosened.

"I'll take her." He said, grabbing onto my other arm tightly, pulling me towards him.

"And how will that help? I think you've done enough for one day." Alice said tugging me towards her.

"I can drive myself." I said loudly, my arms rendered useless as the both of them pulled at me and the both of them turned their glares to me.

"Bella you can't drive in your condition-" Alice started,

"-it's far too dangerous." Edward finished and I cracked a small smile at the ridiculousness of the situation, but then remembered what they were fighting about and the smile faded quickly.

"What do you want Edward?" I said loudly and they both forgot they're petty argument and turned to look at me, "because you made your intentions pretty clear in the lunchroom."

He took a moment to reply, frustration written boldly across his face and his stance suggested he was going to make a quick getaway but surprisingly stood his ground.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let you go." He said sorrowfully.

"I'll just give you a minute." Alice whispered and retreated back into the school leaving Edward and me alone in the parking lot.

"What time Edward? The day we fell apart or just there now." I said, my tone as cold as ice but with one glance into his deep green eyes and I felt it melt slowly but surely.

"Both." He replied

"So has six months changed anything, or do you still not trust me?" I said, I wanted to know the truth.

The silence between us was deafening as his eyes darkened over.

"It was never about trust Bella." He said and I could feel the argument starting over again, I took his reply as a yes anyway.

"I'm done." My voice betrayed my emotional exhaustion and I couldn't face him any longer.

"I've tried Edward, I really have," I continued, "But every time I get close to you, you push me away again. Then to top it off you abandon me for six months. Yet here I am, still trying to get you to let me in but it's no use. You don't want any help or friends. You're a one man show."

And with that I left him, finally having my closure. Angela was right, I felt like I could move on. Though as I walked farther and farther away I felt part of myself stay behind. My life had changed so much already, and now it is changing again.


	19. Chapter 19

_**Bella**_

"Blue definitely!" Jessica said excitedly as she picked through the rail of dresses as I lounged back watching her happily pick out our dresses for the prom. She'd roped me into the shopping trip as a distraction from yesterday. I'd rather be sitting at home with my iPod blasting and stuck in a good book, though according to Jessica, that is classified as sulking.

"Go Bella, try it on!" she said excitedly and thrust the silky blue dress into my arms, though she noticed my temperament and her face softened,

"I'm sorry Bella, you're really hating this aren't you?" she said guiltily, her eyes saddened and she chewed on her bottom lip, I suddenly felt bad. I couldn't drag Jessica into this downward cycle.

"No Jess, this dress looks really good." I said attempting to smile and it seemed to convince Jessica as her face lit up and she pulled me into the changing rooms. The rooms were small and cramped and she yanked the red curtain quickly so it was just me and the mirror. Instead of facing my reflection I stared up at the soft yellow light on the ceiling and slipped the dress on.

I let my hands slide down the side of the blue silk and I admired its softness. I did a small twirl and it gracefully lifted the material up slightly into the air, like a wave in the sea. It had quite a low v-neck and stopped just below my knees. Then a though occurred to me, it was the first dress I'd bought since my mother had died.

I stepped out and saw Angela in a beautiful green dress that was strappy and spiralled down her figure, complimenting it perfectly. It contrasted perfectly with her dark brown hair and her face was lit with a smile. Of course the green only reminded me of one thing, I could see those eyes, staring into mine for one moment.

"Bella you look beautiful!" Jessica gushed and admired my dress, she was wearing a sating pink dress with a untasteful amount of clevage showing, but ithis only seemed to push her on.

"So do you!" I said trying to convey the same amount of enthusiasm but my voice just came out sounding weird and high pitched. Jessica bounced back in but Nagela watched me for a second, she could see through my slipping facade.

So once we paid for our dresses we headed out to grab a coffee and I finally decided to ask Angela a question that had been burning on my mind all day

"Angela, did you mom tell you where Edward went?"

Her face became expressionless and she sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose,

"He'd stayed in Alaska with friends of the family. But I'm guessing he missed home too much, he felt bad for leaving mom especially. She was in a total state for the first month, crying a lot thinking she'd failed him as a mother and she was always forgetting stuff.

Elizabeth told mom that Edward was like the glue in their family, holding them together. I don't know how he copes Bella, he must be sad and so frustrated all the time." There were tears running down my face and I only noticed them after she stopped speaking.

"Oh Bella I'm so sorry, this is the last thing you need to hear now. Especially after yesterday, I'm such an idiot." She said and let her hands fall into her head.

"No you're not Angela, it's not as if I'm important, I was just his friend after all." I reassured her.

Angela lifted her head from her hands and gave me a stern look,

"Bella you were never "just his friend" and you know that better than I do. We all saw straight through the both of you." She said stubbornly.

"Okay enough depressing talk," Jessica said suddenly, "We've got shoes to find!" she dragged us away from our coffees and down into the bright lights of the mall and to the awaiting shoes. Though I could tell it was partly an act, I silently thanked her for the distraction.

*******

Three days to prom, Jessica was on super-crazy mode, torturing each member of the gang, picking us off one at a time. She'd already planned my hairstyle and make-up and the time for it all to commence. I was of course the first to ask as we were walking towards class.

"Is Edward coming?" I asked Jessica, the words slipped out of my mouth, their intention was to stay in my head but my social filter was experiencing difficulties these days. She furrowed her eyebrows and bit her lip at my question.

"Bella I don't speak to him anymore and probably not after what happened last year." She said quietly as she glanced around at the other students suspiciously as if they were listening in.

Everything felt weird and awkward now. In biology we would sit in absolute silence, it almost killed me sometimes. I longed to see his crooked smile and his eyes light up brightly but as usual his face remained blank and emotionless. The words I wanted to say to him remained on the tip of my tongue but I never had the courage to say them aloud.

Lunch was even worse; all I did was watch him from our table. He had his iPod in his ears and he leaned his head against the back wall, his bronze hair flopping slightly over his face, it was exactly like my first day when I'd seen him in the lunchroom. I felt my gut twisting and turning with guilt for leaving him there but I tried to remind myself that he wanted it like that and I'd only be met my hostility.

I was sinking into depression and it was starting to show, I didn't laugh with my friends as much, my eyes always looked heavy and tired and my smiles became less frequent.

So as I was sitting in biology, enduring another of our stifled silence, Mike Newton decided to approach me with a huge smile on his face, beaming straight at me.

This was not going to be good.

"Hey Bella!" Mike said happily and sat himself on top of the table, my arms were itching to strect out and push him off but I restrained myself.

"Hi Mike." I said drily, impatiently waiting for him to leave.

"So I was wondering if you had a date to prom?" he asked, his crystal blue eyes lit with curiosity. It was a ridiculously hard job not to roll my eyes.

Him and Jessica had broken up _again _two days previously but I knew she still wanted to go to prom with him. And when Jessica wanted something she got it with whatever methods necessary, Mike didn't stand a chance.

However this did catch Edward's attention. I noticed he slid back in his seat casually and turned his head slightly to get a clear view of us. I could feel myself smile slightly, it was the first time all week he'd even acknowledged my existence.

"No." I answered annoyed that he was even asking me now; he knew I was Jessica's friend and he just expected me to go to prom with him!

"Well it's settled then, you can come as my date." He grinned widely as if it was an honour he was bestowing on me.

"No." I repeated again, seething with anger at his blatant assumptions.

"But Bella, you need a date for prom." He said bewildered, he leaned closley too my face so I felt his breath on my face. I wretched back in surprise and repulsion from his obvious method of seduction.

"No I don't, I can manage perfectly on my own. So do you mind getting off my desk." I said and glared at him. I heard Edward snicker loudly and Mike turned to glare at him.

"Fine Bella, you're loss." He said huffily and stormed off to his seat, not before giving Edward a death glare.

"What?" I hissed at Edward who was still chuckling under his breath. He just smiled crookedly before returning to his work. I couldn't ignore the fact I was thrilled to see his smile again, I'd ask Mike to come over for another performance just to hear Edward's laugh.

The silence made its come back for the rest of the class but I noticed his lips were turned slightly upwards as he listened to Mr Banner ramble on. I wanted to forget everything now, just to move on and start afresh with Edward. So as the bell rang I didn't rush out of the classroom I decided to take my chances with him.

"Edward, do you mind if we talk?" I asked shyly, _please say yes, please say yes._

"Yeah sure." He replied and gave me a small smile, which in turn filled me with hope.

As we walked out of the classroom I felt more comfortable with him as he was only a step behind me.

We walked beside each other in a comfortable silence through the classroom, his arm brushing up against mine comfortingly. My hand ached to grab his but it remained firmly at my side.

All my efforts were ruined though when out of the blue Jacob came up, wrapped his arm around me and pecked my cheek,

"Hey babe." He said and cheekily winked. The look on Edward's face was indescribable, fury burned in his green eyes and he bared his teeth slightly.

Jacob just smirked widely and his grip tightened around me. HIs hip bone dug into mine and I struggled to break free from the burning heat that was seering up my side now.

Edward didn't even look at me, didn't even give me a chance to explain myself. He just made the assumptions and disappeared down the corridor in a flash.

"What the hell do you want!" I shouted at Jacob who finally released me.

"I was just letting Masen know that he'd better stay away from you, that you're already somebody else's." He growled in Edward's direction. I stood frozen to the spot at his words.

"Jacob you can't just do stuff like that, I'm not even dating you. You don't own me!" I shouted angrily at him but he seemed to take it all pretty well, he just had a look of impatience on his face, waiting for me to finish.

Suddenly he latched onto my arm with a tight grip causing pain to rush up and down my arm. He pulled me roughly round the corner so we were out of sight of others.

"You're going to play the part, Bella, and come to prom with me, do you understand?" he whispered menacingly, he leaned in towards me his eyes burning black and threatening.

I tried to push him off me but failed, he had me tightly secured.

"You can't control me Jacob." I said, boiling with fury, my leg ready to knee him right in the privates.

"Oh yes I can," he said with a smirk, "You know Masen could just be walking innocently in the parking lot after school and I just might happen to be there waiting," He smirked suggestively pausing for effect, "I could really hurt him Bella, more than you would believe. So unless you listen to me something might happen..." He slapped my cheek lightly as a warning and grinned at me like I'd just said something funny.

Dropping me suddenly onto to the hard tiled floor, he walked back into the busy corridor leaving me lying up against a locker completely bewildered. I sat there for a couple of minutes, as I heard the school gradually get emptier as everyone was going home.

Why was Jacob acting like this? He'd never shown any aggression before, he was a bit annoying but never threatening. I felt physically sick, he'd hit me in a weak spot. I couldn't ever let him hurt Edward; I would never forgive myself if he did, especially if it was over something as trivial as prom.

I pushed myself off the ground and walked aimlessly outside, completely lost in my thoughts. I felt shaken up and I knew that I was stuck. I couldn't get out of this, now that Edward's safety was involved. As I stepped outside the doors of the school I could see Edward's small silver Volvo still sitting lifeless in the parking lot.

Through the window screen I could see his bronze hair, his face barely visible. Suddenly his car roared to life and swerved sharply before speeding off making me jump in fight. I made my decision then, even if Edward did hate me I owed him this little bit of peace.


	20. Chapter 20

_**Bella**_

The night of the prom had finally arrived. Once I told Angela I was going with Jacob she had questioned me for a while, obviously confused by my change of heart but I assured her I wanted to. I was getting ready at Angela's house and all I could think about was how Edward had avoided me like the plague for the past couple of days. He never looked once in my direction, he sat at the very edge of our table with his fists tightly clenched and he'd avoided eating in the lunchroom.

Jacob had agreed to meet me there and I felt sick, I wish I'd just stayed away from him like Edward had warned me. Maybe if I had we wouldn't be in any of this mess. The reality of the situation was really starting to sink in, I'd screwed it all up because I couldn't do one tiny thing he asked me to.

I'd considered not going, driving out of Forks for the night but I realised that it wouldn't prevent him from hurting Edward. I felt even lonelier than ever, having to hide this from everyone. People only got blackmailed in movies and television, but here it was happening to me.

Angela was really hyper, she had already fixed herself up and now turned to me, curling my hair and applying makeup.

"There, done." Angela announced and smiled at her handy work. She pulled me off the chair and walked me over to a full length mirror. I had to admit she did a good job and for once I felt pretty.

My brown hair was curly and cascading down my back, the silky blue dress flowed down me and accented me in all the right places. The blue eyeshadow brought out my brown eyes, my lips looked fuller and redder and my cheeks had a small pink tinge to them but that was from me blushing.

Angela skipped to the bathroom and told me just to go downstairs. I walked down cautiously, trying not to trip over on my heels that were dangerously high.

"Oh Bella you look beautiful!" Mrs. Weber gushed as she rushed over and made me embarrassingly do a twirl causing a huge blush rise on my cheeks.

I suddenly felt sadness overwhelm me. I should be going to prom with Edward. I could picture the scene in my head. He would pull up in his silver Volvo and wait in the kitchen with Charlie for me. Charlie would interrogate him thoroughly much to my mortification, picking each detail off but Edward would answer them like a gentleman. I would come down the stairs; he would smile his crooked grin and tell me I look beautiful. I'd fall when we were dancing but he'd just laugh it off.

And if Renee had been alive I could have emailed the photos to her, she would have gushed about how handsome he was and how beautiful I looked. She'd ask me embarrassing questions like if we were being safe because she wouldn't want me to get pregnant. Over all it would have been a disaster but Edward would have been there every step of the way.

I just wanted him to throw his arms round me and we could run away, from Jacob, the judgements, the rumours, the expectations. Just be, Bella and Edward, even for one night.

But this was real life and it wasn't that easy. I heard Angela call my name which broke me out of my trance. I said my goodbyes to Angela's family and left with her in Ben's car. Ben looked great as well but he could not stop staring at Angela with this dumbfounded expression plastered on his face, it made me giggle a bit from the back seat.

He realised I'd noticed and he cleared his throat, turning his eyes back to the road. As he did though he took Angela's hand in his and she grinned widely, her features lighting up like fairy lights. I couldn't help but feel jealous, things were so simple and easy for them.

We pulled up at out destination and I was filled with dread when I saw Jacob standing at the entrance.

"Oh look Bella there's Jacob now." said Angela drearily which really surprised me. She really didn't want me to go with him.

"Yeah I see." I muttered lowly as we walked towards him. A wide grin spread across his face when he saw me and all traces of the aggression I'd seen before were gone, but there were hidden deeper, ready to pounce at any sign of conflict.

"Bella!" he said happily and pulled me into a tight hug.

"Jacob." I said drily and just walked into the huge hall, shaking off his embrace. It was decorated with banners and little Chinese lanterns hung down from the ceiling, I could see Jessica in a stunning red dress beside Mike dressed in a smart tux and smiling widely at her, they were completely caught up in each other on the dance floor.

Jessica titled her head and her eyes met mine. I smiled and gave a small wave but followed it with a look of confusion when she saw me with Jacob, if only she knew.

He wrapped his large arm around my waist as we entered to the dancing couples spinning round the floor.

"Come on let's dance." said Jacob cheerily but I pulled back.

"I can't dance." I said my voice shaking slightly and he tried to force me towards the dance floor.

"Neither can I but let's give it a go." his words seemed innocent enough but I could hear the underlying threat in his tone.

The song was quite upbeat so at least I could avoid slow dancing for the moment. I felt awkward and stupid, I knew I couldn't dance and was making a fool out of myself. After a few more upbeat songs I knew a slow one was destined to come and I felt sick letting Jacob that close to me.

The song changed again and my worst fears became a reality and Jacob smirked widely at me as he approached me, getting closer and closer. Suddenly I felt an arm whip round me from the side and I was pulled off into a spin.

"Sorry Jacob I'm going to have to steal your partner for one dance. She did promise me after all." I heard a velvety voice call out to Jacob who looked beyond furious and he stalked towards the punch table.

I almost cried with relief as Edward pulled me in closer.

"Edward," I began but he pressed a finger to my lips.

"Just let me enjoy this one dance." he said and pressed his lips against my forehead. I sighed and let myself relax in his arm until I realised I had no idea what to do.

"Edward, I have no idea how to dance." I mumbled embarrassed, I knew I was ruining the moment. He just smiled at me, his green eyes glittering from the lights above us.

"It's all in the leading." he smirked and spun me round and lifted my feet up on his like I weighed nothing at all.

I leaned my head against his shoulder taking in the intoxicating scent.

"You look beautiful." he said, his lips at my ears and I shivered at his proximity.

I lifted my head up and watched his eyes,

"You don't look so bad yourself." I said smiling and he gave me a wide crooked grin.

All my worries and troubles had melted away and all I could think about was Edward. My head was spinning, my heart racing and it made felt like it was just him and me dancing; the other couples around us had seemed to disappear.

I felt his breath fanning my neck as he swayed me back and forth, twirling every once in a while, he pressed his forehead against mine so we could just look into each other's eyes, his lips brushed over mine slightly, nothing to noticeable but enough to send a thrill of joy right through me.

It was just Bella and Edward for once and I loved every minute of it. I pressed my forehead on his and closed my eyes, breathing him in and printing this moment into my memory.

Suddenly the song was over and I held tightly to him, not wanting to let go. However Jacob had different plans and he stood behind us, his arms folded and he was glaring at Edward and me.

"Well you've had your one dance now _Edward _so you can go now. I won't appreciate it next time when you try to steal my partner." he said angrily and pulled me towards him. Edward didn't even look at him or acknowledge his very existence he just watched my eyes. It took all my strength not to send him a pleading look or show any emotion, I just tried to keep my face blank.

Edward sighed and paced off again and Jacob wrapped his arms sloppily around my waist, pulling me in for the next dance. I could smell alcohol tainting his breath and I felt my stomach wrench.

"Jacob how much have you drank?" I asked disgusted.

"Not enough." he mumbled but tightened his grip on me and his hands slipped down my back and rested on my bum.

"Stop it." I demanded and tried to get out of his strong grasp. He just smirked widely and pulled me in tighter.

"Is there a problem here?" I heard Ben's voice say with an authoritative air and I sighed with relief when Jacob released me.

"Not anymore." I said and started to make my way towards the exit away from Jacob. The cool air hit me instantly and I felt very chilled but I ignored it, I wanted to get away from that stupid dance.

I glanced up at the sky it was cloudy but the moon seemed to sit out against them shining brightly overhead. The wind shook the trees gently and there seemed to be an eerie stillness in the parking lot.

I walked on though and wrapped my arms around myself trying to store any heat. There was a rustling of leaves behind me which made me pace even faster. I soon found myself in a small narrow back way behind the large hall. I leaned the wall and took in deep breaths of the cool air.

My head was swimming from what had all just happened. Part of me wanted to run back to Edward and tell him everything but then Jacob would hurt him. I held back the tears though; I wasn't going to cry because of Jacob. I just have to survive this night then I'd be free from any ties from him.

Suddenly I heard crunching of gravel behind me and I jumped in fight, letting out a small scream when I saw a dark figure standing in front of me.

Then the figure spoke in a low and menacing voice,

"No one is going to hear you scream here Bella."


	21. Chapter 21

_A/N: Okay sorry about the ridiculously long update time, life got in the way. Anyway I'm back on track even with a little writers block at the min but its being solved! Had a very good song suggestion by one of the wonderful readers, Andy Parker pointing out that "Emergency" by Paramore fits very well with the story. If you've any song suggestions yourself give me a shout and I'll post them up because music always is my inspiration, literallly can't write without it. So on to the story, hope you enjoy! _

_Disclaimer: Not mine._

**_Bella_**

The darkness was blinding and the figure was looming towards me, gradually coming out of the shadows. I was frantically trying to remember anything from my self defence class in school but in my panic all I could think of was the knee jerk.

I was trembling, looking for a way to escape but there was only a large cold grey wall behind me and the dark shadow leering towards me, trapping me like a bird in a cage. I slipped out of my ridiculous stilettos that Jessica had made me wear, getting ready to run as fast as I could. The person was getting closer and I could now finally recognise their face watching me from the distance, their face illuminated by the small light overhead.

"Jacob, what are you doing?" I said defiantly, trying not to show my fear and panic that was overwhelming me. However a cold and posinous laugh escaped his chest filling me with dread. He pushed me roungly into the wall and clenched my arms with his large hands.  
"You scared?" he whispered into my ear and brushed back some of my hair roughly with his huge fingers. A smirk crossed his face as I shuddered at the dark glint in his brown eyes. There was something there, past the malice and hate, I could see fear brimming over, threatening to spill.

"No." I said loudly and tried to push him away. He grabbed both of my arms and pinned them tightly across the cold wall, scraping them in the process.  
"Let me go." I growled and applied more force against him. He just laughed mockingly and pressed his body tightly to mine. The heat radiating off him seeped through my clothes, burning my skin.

"Looks like the little kitten had got spunk." he said sarcastically and then pressed his huge hard lips against mine.

It was now or never.

Once he was distracted I lifted my knee and jerked it as hard as I could into his privates. He groaned loudly and dropped me instantly. I took my chance and started to run towards the car park again. The ground cut at my bare feet so it slowed me down. I didn't turn back to Jacob I just kept pushing onwards.

However I didn't get far when there was a sharp tug on the back of my dress. My head smacked against the unforgiving ground as I fell face first. He then proceeded to drag me back, the sharp stones from the goud scraping against my skin, pain enveloping me everywhere.

"Ahh!" I cried out and lifted my hands to my head to feel a wet substance in my hair.

My worst fears were confirmed when I lifted my hand back down to see the thick red liquid smothering it in large blotches. I felt dizzy but I tried to fight it, this was not a good time to faint.

"You little slut!" Jacob cussed and then lifted me roughly off the ground and pressing me up against the wall, his huge hand locked round my neck and I gasped air in.

He lifted his fist and I flinched before he sunk his fist into my stomach. The wind was knocked out of me and I started to feel consciousness slipping as I slid down the wall weakly. Every part of me was in agony, I could barely think about anything else put the pain which was making me blurry eyed. I didn't understand any of this.

"Why?" I whimpered out pathetically as he picked me up again and he chuckled darkly.  
"Bella, you were so easy to fool, you believed that I was that annoying but harmless Jacob Black. That the story about your dearest Edward was actually true and not just rumours circulated by myself. When all I wanted was to get revenge on your boyfriend Cullen." he laughed again and hit me across the face. I felt blood trickle down from my nose and onto my lips and I could taste the blood which made me gag violently.

He lifted his fist up again and I knew this was it, my body was barely coping with its injuries at the moment and this next one was going to send me out.

"Don't you lay another finger on her." I heard a dark voice growl threateningly, that voice was a lifeboat to my sinking ship and I couldn't help but become overwhelmed with relief.

"Edward." I choked out as the tears streaming down my face. Jacob however pulled me off the wall and pressed me against him.

"Well well, Masen, perfect timing as always." he grinned and dropped me to the ground and kicked me roughly. I screamed out in agony as I rolled onto the ground.

My side was burning with pain and I clasped it with my hand, trying to sooth it but I felt no comfort. I rolled round to see Edward watching me, his face twisted with horror.

"I wouldn't come any closer, my foot my accidently slip." he said and I felt the weight of his large boot press against the top of my head, pressing it deeper into the hard ground and causing more blood to spill from my wound.

"Stop!" I screamed out but all it did was made Jacob laugh louder as I withered in pain on the cold ground.

"This is between me and you, Jacob. It's nothing to do with her." Edward said strongly but I could hear his edge of hysteria.

"I told you I'd get you back, she just happens to be your weak spot. You didn't think I'd notice? I thought you were smart Masen. Though snitching to the police was definitely a stupid thing to do. maybe you aren't so clever afterall? Although it worked out perfectly for me. Edward Masen was the woman beater while I was the hero of the day." he laughed loudly and I heard Edward's feet get closer and so did the pressure on my head.

"Ahh no!" I screamed out in pain, the throbbing in the side of my head was increasing rapidly and burning me, implanting itself into my skull.

"You're going to kill her!" shouted Edward in a furious cry, struggling to get near to me.

"No, you're going to kill her and I'll be the innocent bystander who finds her dead by the hand of Edward Masen. Who will they believe, the physco kid who has been following her for months or the family friend? You really should get your alibi's right."

Suddenly the pressure was lifted from my head but I knew it would be back once I glanced up and saw Jacob's foot flying towards my head.

"No!" yelled Edward and suddenly the foot was gone, so was Jacob.

"Edward, Edward." I called out weakly, pushing myself off the ground slowly.

The two of them were rolling on the ground fists flying and bodies being thrown about, I couldn't tell who was winning. I heard Jacob yell out in pain as Edward threw him across the alley, leaving him lying down there. Abruptly Edward was crouched beside me and Jacob was lying in the corner.

"Bella, Bella please tell me you're still awake." Edward whispered his voice strained and anxious.

"Yes." I whispered pressing my hand to his newly cut cheek, he smiled briefly one filled with hope but it was too good to be true, Jacob wouldn't finish without a fight.

There was a loud manic laughter which echoed off the walls of the alley and we both turned to see Jacob getting up off the ground.

Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up off the ground gently, he turned to face Jacob, one arm still supporting me.

"Aren't you the perfect couple," he mocked, "She reminds me a bit of Bree you know. It's ironic that it's all happening exactly like last year, same alley way, same night, same situation, same boys. Two differences though, the girl and the fact you won't be leaving alive this time." he hissed the last part through his teeth that were bared now.

Edward's grip tightened round me when Jacob suddenly started to shake furiously.

"I told you that you'd regret ever opening your mouth. I guess you'll have to learn the hard way." he hissed and started to walk towards us, he stumbled slightly and Edward pushed us further back.

"Jacob don't do this again, please! Haven't you hurt enough people!" Edward cried out but it was too late. I pushed my head into Edward's shoulder when suddenly a howl echoed through the silence of the night, shattering any remaining peace.

Edward's muscles clenched and he stood over me protectively. There in front of us was a huge brown wolf, eyes searing with anger, it was like a hurricane ready to destroy everything in its path. I held back a scream and instead clutched tighter to Edward's arm.

Just before it got closer, Edward turned his towards mine and whispered into my ear,

"I love you, never forget that." My eyes welled with tears as I realised of what Jacob was planning to take away from us, our lives and our love.

"Oh God, oh God!" Edward muttered as the wolf went for the dive towards us. Everything went fuzzy then, I found myself being thrown through the air away from the incoming blur of fur while Edward stood in his place.

"EDWARD!" I screamed out in fear and agony, he was engulfed by the blur, thrown back into the wall and I could hear his own screams through the ripping sound, each one tearing me too pieces.

Suddenly there were huge bright white lights that lit the whole alley and what seemed like people flew past me like lightening and the screams abruptly stopped.

"Edward!" I cried out weakly, my vision began to become blurry and the pain in my head was unbearable as well as the pain from my limbs. There were bright lights, shouts and another howl which echoed in my head. It was not one of anger and hate, it was filled with desperation and fear.

"Someone get over here, she's losing a lot of blood!" called a familiar voice but I couldn't place it to a name, my mind was fuzzy and blurry and I was drifting off into blackness. Only one thing was left sailing through my fading thoughts,

_Edward, Edward..._


	22. Chapter 22

_**Alice**_

I watched Bella's still, silent and fragile body lying on the bed, tubes twisting round her arms and face like snakes. Her leg was propped up in a huge white cast, and there was evidence of the attack marked clearly on her face. I could see red lines running down her arms, bruises covering her body and the stitches at the back of her head. They were taunting me, showing not her weakness but my own. It distressed me greatly to think of how close I'd come to being too late.

The huge red and purple mark on the side of her face was a horrible reminder of when Jacob had his foot pressed against her head while she screamed out in pain. The feeling was indescribable, I've never felt more useless and helpless in my life being blinded from Jacob, I could have prevented it if it wasn't for my flaw.

I'd promised to protect her and Edward, try and prevent this awful future from occurring. They could have grown up together, got married and have beautiful children with bright green eyes and brown hair. A future that never will pan out and I couldn't help but feel responsible.

There were loud beeps from the machinery every other second telling me she was still alive, her breathing was shallow, her heart beating slowly in her chest and there was an aroma of blood filling the room from her wounds. She was already in so much physical pain and I didn't want to be the cause of emotional pain.

It shouldn't be me sitting her, Edward should be leaning over her fragile frame worrying over her condition, stroking her hair and whispering in her ear _everything is going to be fine Bella._

But it's not and I knew that better than anyone else.

Her chest rose and sunk slowly and I sat in the chair listening to her breathing. It was the only thing keeping me sane at the moment knowing that'd I'd been some use by saving one life. The nurse walked in to check on her again and I had to hold in a frustrated sigh whenever she glared at me for the fourth time.

The nurse slammed the door a bit too loudly on the way out, obviously a bit annoyed I refused to leave even though it was past visitors' hours. She said it was "inappropriate for someone my age to be here instead of her guardian". I just ignored her.

Charlie had been here but he needed to go the station to sort out what had happened. Animal attach, the same as last year, had been the excuse. Edward had taken the hit for Bella, leaving him the hero. The poor excuse made me shudder in disgust. I wanted some justice on Jacob but I wasn't willing to break the treaty because of the pack's poor excuse of a wolf.

The heart monitor started to increase slightly and Bella began to stir. I yanked my chair to beside her bed so I could be right beside her.

Her eyelids fluttered slightly and she slowly opened her eyes, I could see them adjusting to the light.

"Edward?" she said her voice hoarse and weak reminding me of how close she'd come to death.

"No Bella, it's me Alice." I said quietly, my heart breaking for her. I placed my hand over hers which had an IV sticking in it, the plastic tube felt cold and unnatural compared to the heat of her skin.

"Ugh, what is this?" she muttered to herself and tried to tug off the tubes running into her nose.

"No no Bella, leave that on." I said softly and pulled her hand back down. Suddenly her eyes flashed with panic and distressed, I could see last night's events playing back in her head.

"Where am I? Where's Edward? Where's Jacob? Is he hurt?" she said rapidly and pushed herself up, looking frantically round

"Bella, calm down. We're in the hospital and Jacob is hopefully on his way to jail." I said reassuring, resting her back down into the bed. However she didn't relax, her eyes were wide and scared, like a child after a bad dream. _If only..._

"What about Edward? Where is he?!" she was getting worked up again. I hated to be the one to tell her. Unexpectedly tears started to streak down her face and she clasped onto my arm tightly.

"I can tell! Your face says it all. He's hurt, his injuries are major, he's in a coma!" her voice was strained and desperate, she was thinking of all the scenarios except one. I'd seen it coming, this scene would play out the same no matter where it took place.

"Bella, I don't know how to tell you this but Edward's-" I began but she quickly cut in.

"No Alice, don't say it! Please! Please don't say _dead_." She had pulled herself forward in the bed ignoring her cast and tubes, her hands gripped the side of the bed as hard as they could and her brown eyes were swollen red with tears sprung in them.

If I could've have cried I would have. With just a nod of my head I saw a girl fall apart in front of me. At first all she did was shake her head back and forth whispering _no_ repetitively, her damp hair flicking into her face. Then she glanced back at me as a confirmation, I didn't move, didn't breath but she could see it written across my face.

"Alice tell me it's not true! Please, not him, anyone but him! He can't... he just can't have!" she cried out, sobs wracking her body. Her words turned into shouts which in turn morphed into screams, until the only noise to be heard was Edward's name being screamed down the ward.

Nurses came rushing in along with a doctor; I couldn't move or speak as Bella dissolved into fits of sobs. Then there was a blood-curdling scream of anguish, set out to break my soul. I shut my eyes but my vampire senses only amplified everything happening around me, the chaos and distress shook my core.

Just as the screams died down I felt a hand placed on my shoulder.

"Alice you need to leave her." Carlisle whispered, pulling me out of the seat.

"Carlisle" I whispered hoarsely, my emotions torn to pieces

"Shhh. She'll be alright. We need to leave." he said comfortingly, guiding me out of Bella's personal hell.

We left the girl behind that day, she needed time, it was the only healer. As I stepped out of the hospital, with Jasper's arm now wrapped around me I was hit by a feeling that this wasn't the last time I'd see Bella Swan. It wasn't a vision though, but a gut instinct.


	23. Chapter 23

_**Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. ~ anon.**_

_**Bella**_

_Not again, God please, not again. _

It was the only thought that made sense in my cluttered head; it flowed through my mind like a broken record, repeating over and over and over. There was a cool mist in the air, wet and damp but not raining. The clouds hung heavy in the sky, ready to spill over at any moment and the grass was soft against my feet, tickling them as I prodded through in my plain black pumps. The scene was too familiar, I had felt all these emotions and seen this scene not too long again. Deja-vu.

I registered a comforting arm pressing against the small of my back; I knew it was Charlie just from his touch. I could see the small wooden box up ahead, being carried on the shoulders of men in his family who he had left his mark on. Students had lined up in a guard of honour as we closed towards the cemetery; I held back a bitter laugh. None of these people were his friends, they'd been the ones who had isolated him and cast him out of their social circles.

The silence was terrifying; the only noises to be heard were the soft padding of feet along the grass and the occasional cough or whimpering cry. My breaths were shallow and empty, if I slowed I would stop altogether. The crutches sunk slowly into the soft soil and if thegourpd was trying to swallow me as well, causing my foot to jump forward and I stumbled pathetically.

Charlie wrapped his arm around my waist to prevent any more accidents but I could feel the stares from surrounding watchers, their eyes radiating sympathy and pity. I was the victim in their eyes, the poor pathetic girl who was brutally attacked, only to be saved by the heroic _Edward Masen.  
_It even hurt to think his name.

They didn't understand though, not even my own father could comprehend the pain. I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too. The march finally halted at the top of the grassy bank but I pushed on past the beckoning crowd, they split up the middle letting the _cripple _through.

My eyes were assaulted with a dreadful image, Mrs Masen. The woman looked how I felt. Her long bronze hair which once shone like her sons, was tied sloppily into a ponytail which hung limply on her shoulder, dead and lifeless. Her lips were chapped and red from biting and her mouth had formed a grimace. Tears had streaked down her cheeks, dripping off one by one and her weak green eyes were staring off into the distance, avoiding the coffin which was approaching slowly, making a journey of its own.

I don't know if it was her or when the priest started to speak but I felt my awareness starting to fade, my emotions block out and my senses weaken. Everything passed in a blur after that, I would only hear parts of conversations before I retrieved back into the safety of my mind, away from the harsh reality of life.

The day flew by in a whirlwind of sympathy and sorrow and I didn't see Mrs Masen again, she seemed to escaped from the crowd. There was a reception after it but Charlie had agreed that I didn't have to go.

It was when we had arrived home and I was standing in our ordinary kitchen that suddenly my memories became alive and tortured me with what had been...

_"Oh Isabella how will you ever forgive me?" _

_"Bella what's right with strawberry? You have to get a variation at least! Strawberry is as bad as just having a plain yogurt."_

_"She's already got somewhere to sit."_

"_Please Bella, please, just stay away from him."_

_"It's all in the leading."_

"_I love you, never forget that..."_

The last one hit me with full force and I felt my legs give in underneath me.

"Bella! Bella, honey!" said Charlie and ran toward me, catching me before I fell. His arms wrapped roughly around me and pulled me upwards, the room span around me and my head felt light and dizzy. Reality was finally hitting me.

"Mhm..." I mumbled incoherently my arms falling loosely at my side as Charlie picked me up and lifted me to my bedroom. His breathing was erratic and panicked but all I could think of was when Edward lifted me like this. His presence had been a source of comfort alone, his arms were safe and warm, his hand gently clasping mine.

"I'm going to call a doctor" said Charlie adamantly when he placed me on my bed.  
"No!" I cried hoarsely, "Dad the last thing I need is a doctor prodding at me, I'm just exhausted." He seemed wary at first but finally nodded reluctantly at my logic. He took one last glance at me before closing the door behind him.

The room was cold and lonely leaving me to my thoughts and fears. Now that I had time to think everything started to hit me slowly. Edward is gone, Jacob is a werewolf, Jacob _killed _him. I gasped for air and sat up rapidly working up into hysterics again like in the hospital. Alice had watched me that with a heart breaking expression.

I then felt my necklace pressing against my chest, the only physical reminder of my mother. I didn't have a reminder of Edward; he had left my life with no remnants of himself and he could soon disappear from my mind altogether.

I felt a hole gaping in my chest, stretching out and ripping my love to shreds and I wrapped my arms around my torso squeezing tightly as soft sobs escaped my chest. It wasn't fair, I can't be tortured with these thoughts and feelings, why should the two closest people to me be ripped violently from my life? What have I done to deserve this? What had Edward done to earn a fate where he was slaughtered meaningless, like a lamb preyed on by a lion?

The anger bubbled up in the moment of hatred for myself, Jacob and denial of the situation so I gripped the side of my bed, my eyes straining up to the ceiling as I panted. I couldn't stay cooped in this house anymore; I was like a prisoner trapped in the four walls.

On the spur of the moment I grabbed my keys from the bedside table, threw on an old blue woollen jumper and clambered towards the window. I threw it open with the little strength I had left and it thumped loudly. The cold bitterness of the night assaulted my senses when the wind flew in and hit me like a bucket of ice cold water. I inched out the window slowly, my bare feet scraping into the bark of the tree unsteadily. Swinging my arms rapidly onto the trunk, I held it in a death grip and slid down the tree. Branches dug into my spine and my hands and feet were being scraped from the rough wood but I embraced the pain, it fought through the numbness that had overwhelmed me earlier.

Once I had landed safely on the cool wet grass and treaded lightly to my truck parked haphazardly in the drive and started off down the road, glancing behind quickly to see if Charlie had spotted me. The truck was familiar and brimmed with memories of Edward, it was as if I couldn't escape him, each moment I turned he'd be right beside me. It felt like he wasn't really gone, I could almost see him, lying lazily back in the passenger seat, his wild hair sticking up chaotically, longing to be touched. His arms would be sprawled over the back of the seat, his hand lightly dancing over my shoulder as I tried my best to concentrate, ignoring the constant butterflies. His eyes would watch me fervently, distracting me at every possible second and when I would chastise him a beautiful smile would light his face.

I only realised the tears were running down my face and I wiped them away carelessly, trying to focus on the road. My headlights lit the dark road ahead, small animals scurried into the hedges as my truck powered down the lonely road. Knowing I'd reached my destination I pulled the truck sharply to the side of the road and stepped out. Here there was a gentle soothing breeze and the sand was cool and gentle to my battered bare feet.

As I walked closer the ground hardened and the sound of crashing waves became more apparent. I took each step slowly and deliberately until I reached the edge of the cliff. I could see first beach stretching out along the coast of La Push where small white seashells dotted along the sand.

I took one deep breath, the salt and sea streamed through my nose in a nauseating manner that I had to exhale sharply again. Then in a moment of silence I stood at the very edge, the hard rock's jagging into my feet but I ignored it, I felt like I was flying here. The time had come though and there was no turning back now. So in one swift movement I ripped the locket from my neck, the chain snapping in two under the force. I held it in my palm for a moment, watching the blue pendant shine from the light of the moon. Squeezing it tightly in my hand and then I threw my arms back then forward and swung the locket down into the crashing waves.

It fell quickly through the air and hit the water with such an insignificant splash that it would have went unnoticed if my eyes hadn't been trained on it the whole time. As the locket sunk slowly to the ocean floor, so did the old Bella. My life up to now didn't matter anymore, it was all past and if I wanted to survive this I had to become someone else. The heartache will never fade but maybe I could block it out.

As I walked back to the truck I felt my old self melting away behind me in a trail towards the sea. I was Isabella now, Bella was gone with the locket and Edward.


End file.
